Backtrack Journey

2007-01-09T12:49:00.000-08:00

Note to all:

I am moving to wordpress.com

backtrackjourney.wordpress.com

2007-01-04T08:00:00.000-08:00

Complications

There were tears in her eyes. She had come to our medical mission the past two times with her son who had a bad cough. She related that the man she lived with had kicked her and their son out. What a mess. The boy’s father had come with them that night because he didn’t believe that his son really did have the onset of asthma.

The boy has a bright smile and loves to talk. We have talked a lot these past two Wednesday nights. He thinks the world of his father and you could tell that his presence meant a lot to him.

What a broken world we live in. It is in these moments that you can see the need for redemption and yet from a very practical stand point what do you do?

These are the kind of things that come at you when you are willing to insert yourself into the world. Nothing clean or neat or inspiring, just real life and real brokenness and a real need for redemption.

I figured something out though last night. We had some people who have left who didn’t like how I handled situations. They wanted big prayers and flowery pronouncements. They wanted to feel like we cared. They wanted invitations that were powerful and moving delivered from a safe distance. Let’s talk about our problems but let’s certainly not get too involved because involved is messy.

I figured out why they didn’t like me last night as I listened to this women’s story. I don’t have flowery answers or moving responses. I have a practical streak a mile wide that says what can we do to really help with redemption in these peoples lives. NO placebo of experience but real hope.

You see I have a real disdain for invitations. Maybe it was the week long gospel meeting that became the three day gospel meeting where the preacher had Just As I Am repeated until someone was bludgeoned into response.

I remember several years ago before our first child was born going forward to ask for prayers as a father. I remember the faces in the crowed as I began the approach during the invitation song. You could see the questions in their eyes. “What has Darin done?” “This is going to be interesting.”

I remember the change in the atmosphere when the minister informed the church that I had just asked for prayers on our sons impeding birth. I remember people telling me I would do great, I had nothing to worry about but not one I’m praying for you. The invitation was the time to mark, gawk and wonder.

It was in this moment that I new that redemption is not an event or a moment but a process that requires a rolled up sleeve, involvement and commitment. This relationship is a mess a no flowery prayer is going to change that. No pat on the back and a Jesus loves you will prepare this boy for what lies ahead.

I thought about the woman who was caught in adultery who Jesus sent away with a simple "Go and sin no more." There is a lot more to that story then what is recorded. A lot more too every story. It is easy to see Jesus send that woman away but the story was told to show Jesus willingness to forgive not to show a ministry style, or so I think. How about you?

No, that woman was going to need some support and encouragement and a willingness to be community. What do you think?

2007-01-02T09:57:00.000-08:00

Trappings

What do your trappings say? We rang in the New Year with one more step away from ‘typical’ church trappings. We have never had a pulpit and we have been using a nice stand. We rang in the New Year with the removal of the stand. The stand is now a small table that allows for my notes and Bible. We will add an area rug as soon as I find the right color. We have no pews, no ties and now no stand.

What do you think of trappings? I wonder what impact if any this will have. We are a church that has always been willing to do things differently so I doubt if it will matter much but I wonder what message it will send.

It has been an interesting experience living in the Bible belt these past few years. People seem to place a lot of stock in trappings. I had a woman who visited say that she guessed it was okay to laugh during church. If she doesn’t like to laugh she certainly came to the wrong place. It seemed that the experience wasn’t churchy enough for her. For her church should look like church if you know what I mean.

This is hard for me because I think church should look less like church if you know what I mean. As a child raised going to church I wanted nothing to do with the experience. I spent years living in the world before I discovered it was a relationship my Maker desired. As a minister why would I want to recreate something that seemed so pointless, so drab, boring and lifeless? What I find interesting is the number of people who come and because they don’t experience church as they see church want nothing to do with it and even question its validity.

How fascinating. Maybe someone can explain. Do you realize that a way of doing church has in many peoples mind become church? How sad and ironic that one expression of how a church functions is actually viewed as being what the church is.

The big question in my head is will this always be how it is? Are there people disenfranchised with church, meaning that brand of experience, that might find our experience more meaningful or not? If there are how do you let them know that your church experience is unlike the picture of church in their head?

It would seem the only way is to get to know people. Get to know people who you wouldn’t normally get to know. The nicely dressed churchgoer isn’t really interested in rocking that boat but who wants to attract people who simply want the carpet changed and kids ministry tailored to their liking?

All I can say is that in 2007 I will learn more about what it means to be an unchurch or boutique church as I like to call it.

2006-12-26T12:06:00.000-08:00

A Christmas Present

The call came as we sat down for dinner. I had decided to take my wife out to eat dinner. We don’t get out by ourselves that often and I thought it would be nice to surprise her before the Christmas rush and family came to town.

We had just sat down and ordered when the phone rang. Now I don’t know about you but there is a time to answer the phone and a time to ignore it. As a guy I am not very good at knowing when but I felt that to be responsible I needed to at least see who was calling. Maybe it was the sitter. I hate getting sitters but my wife loves when I make the effort. I don’t know what it is but scheduling a sitter just doesn’t sit well with my football watching persona.

Anyway, I looked at the phone and saw that it wasn’t the sitter but someone from our fellowship. I had to decide at that moment do I risk ruining this date or do I take the call. Again as a guy I usually choose wrong but I decided I should take the call. You see, I will call her Judy, rarely calls and I had not seen her for a few weeks. She comes sporadically, here and there. We have helped her out with some dental work in the past and tried to be with her through some different situations.

As I headed outside the restaurant to take the call Judy informed me that she had checked herself into rehab. She needed someone to pray with her before going in. She had poured the last bottle of vodka down the drain and she was gathering her things. We prayed and talked and I encouraged her.

We have talked since and she has dried out and is moving into the phase of treatment where they talk about how she will live without her long relied on crutch.

It is a Christmas I wouldn’t have imagined several years ago, a Christmas where greater gifts are given than a new video game or clothes or perfume. The gift is redemption. A Christmas with a woman starting down the road to recovering her life.

I was reading in the first chapter of Mark the next day and noticed something I had never seen. Jesus heals a man with an unclean spirit but what I struck me was their location. They are in a synagogue. Jesus has spoken and the text says that a man with an unclean spirit amongst them interrupted the service. The man with the unclean spirit was in the synagogue. As I contemplated that I thanked God that this story was repeated in our place, maybe not as dramatic but the same.

I give thanks to God this Christmas that I am in a place that welcomes those with demons.

2006-12-13T12:32:00.000-08:00

A Worship Service

They were waiting at the door. They began to arrive around 4:30, some as early as 3:00. The line began to snake away from the locked doors as everyone waited for the doors to open. The doors don’t open until 5:30 so they had some time to wait.
When the doors finally opened the people filed in. They did so in a nice and orderly fashion, no one pushed or shoved. The man at the door who let them in said hello to all who entered. Many of the faces were familiar, they had been here before.

As the crowed filed into the sanctuary they began to congregate in the back. You see this is where we have our sign in. People let us know whether they need to see the doctor or just receive refills on their medication.

On the first Wednesday night of each month our sanctuary is turned into a waiting room. Our tables become a place for people to sign in and kids to color. Our parking lot welcomes the Good Samaritan mobile clinic, a doctor’s office on wheels. Worship has begun.

This past Wednesday I was struck with the fact that this is the most uplifting worship service I ever attend. I experience God more richly than at my favorite Third Day concert. No contemporary song reflects such a powerful movement of the Spirit. So many people touched in the name of Jesus for His glory. So many people prayed with, so many opportunities to talk about salvation.

No two Medical Mission nights are the same. You never know what God is going to do in this place as we become the hands and feet of Jesus, as we share our lives with others.

This is why I considered it pure joy this past Sunday as one of those individuals, I will call her Patty, came and joined us for worship. Patty informed us that she had been very far from God. She said she wanted to come back to Christ. I love it when a wonderful worship experience, our Medical Mission, leads to an even more wonderful worship experience.

2006-12-11T09:51:00.000-08:00

Working through it with your kids

I often times have the opportunity to help people and yet at times I forget to invite others to participate. This Christmas season we have a couple of opportunities to help some people. In the past I probably would have just asked my wife and given to those in need but, and I am embarrassed to admit this, we have not talked about it with our kids.

This year we will sit down as a family and decide what is best. For those of you who already do this, thanks for telling me.

2006-12-11T08:37:00.000-08:00

Bible Class and Boredom

I must confess to hating Bible Class. As a part of my job I often am asked to teach. At certain points in my life I actually enjoyed this but after several years of teaching adults I really have become cynical and jaded.

To me they often seem more like a time to tell everyone what we already know, boy aren’t we smart. A time to ask the most minuscule questions or to point out the oddest facts. Yes the Magi, they were Magi not Wise men you know, came to a house not a stable, but should we spend the entire class discussing this fact? They seemed to be a time to talk about things we had no intention of doing or changing.

Maybe you know what I mean. It is good when God reminds me that this may not necessarily be so. We have been doing a study entitled Flesh vs. Spirit. We have spent the past several weeks looking at the battle that rages between what our flesh wants and what the Spirit brings.

We had ended by looking at what Paul tells us comes from our flesh and what comes from the Spirit. At the end of class I was approached by a gentleman that I will call Jack. Jack has been coming the past 6 months to worship with us at New Heights. Originally he came because of his girlfriend but when she broke up he decided to stick around.

Now this means a lot because Jack has a rough past. He hasn’t gathered with a church since he was a boy. His opinion of Christians isn’t particularly a high one. He has met too many who didn’t seem to practice what they preached.

He not only began to come with his girlfriend but he started attending class. This past week he approached me afterwards with a question.

He said, “Let me see if I understand this.” He paused as if he wanted to make sure he got this right, “You seem to be saying that if we love God and we appreciate what he has done for us, then we are going to love others and this is the way we love.”

He had another pause before he finished, “Am I hearing this right?”

For all of the times I thought I was wasting it, for all the moments I think we are just talking to hear our own voice, I will remember that day. My friend Jack had no idea that was what it was about, that the idea of Christianity is to love God and love people. Do we hear the irony of this fact? That a person can grow up and have some church experience and yet not know that this is the point.

I think sometimes we have complicated Christianity to a point of confusion. Which way is the right way, which belief is true. What facts must I know to be saved. Jack reminded me that there are a lot of people who don’t understand Christ because they don’t understand church. What makes me sad is that this is our fault.

May we be people who understand what it is all about because there are too many Jack’s in this world.

2006-12-08T06:53:00.000-08:00

If you have not followed this story I recommend that you do.

Professor Jack

2006-12-07T07:50:00.000-08:00

Romantic Past

As humans we tend to romanticize the past. I was listening to a TV preacher talking about the good ole days of the U.S. of A. He was speaking in glowing terms of our countries past. No need to remind him about lynching and murder, white only water fountains and Japanese internment camps. All was good and glorious, what a great past. He was attempting to insight believers to defend this past.

We must avoid romanticizing our past. It is not pretty and it never will be. This lie infects churches and movements and it keeps us from seeing what matters most. The book of Genesis certainly doesn’t romanticize our faiths past. We have Abraham twice giving his wife to others in an attempt to save his own neck. We have Peter and the apostles failing on a regular basis. The church in Corinth is certainly not the poster child for healthy congregations. We must avoid this tendency at romance.

It leaves us open to self righteousness and deceit. Jesus warned that we should seek the plank out of our own eye before we look to help a brother with his speck. When we romanticize our past we see no plank because one could never exist. We either look like liars or fools to those whose eye contains the speck. A classic example today is marriage. Many believers attack the homosexual movement and warn about the dangers of homosexual marriage and yet when believers have just as much divorce as non-believers than romanticism has begun.

It leads us to put our hope in the wrong thing. When believers romanticized the early church it led them to think that restoring it would make everything better. This romantic lie has caused many a division and ended up taking our eyes off of Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, and placed it on a set of randomly chosen institutional markers.

Many people today are still digging out from this romantic dream, others probably never will. The beauty of being a Christ follower is that we are following, we are on a journey that will only be completed upon Christ return. We live looking forward not back.

As Christ follower we can admit our mistakes, our sins and our failures, because that is not the point. We don’t have to romanticize our past because that is the story. This is why the Messiah had to come. All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God and there is nothing romantic about that.

2006-12-05T15:29:00.000-08:00

What if in heaven we experience intimacy with all who are present? Intimacy with God and man? What if our closeness is so warm that we feel content each moment of our existence in that place? What if all of the relational pain and hurdles are gone, removed, perfected in such a way that everyone is a friend and we share memories with all? A closeness that we know exists because we long for it and yet closeness we will never experience in this place?

The older I get the more I wait for this place, the more responsibility I believe I have to point the way. What if I were to say “Come with me to our real home”, “the true existence that squirms and cries deep within your heart.” Would you come? What if I could give you no more information than what is already inside, would you believe?

What if I said only a wise sage named Jesus could show the way? Would it sound really good until you heard His name? Would you say that is not what it is all about, a leader taking us to our home, the real home where all of the “what ifs” are answered.

How we have simplified an epic tale. I remember reading Star Wars comic books as a kid. Princess Leia just didn’t have the same pop. The bun hairdo just didn’t have the impact. It was easier to read and simpler to understand and yet it was not as fulfilling as the full movie experience and the story lost its impact.

How sad that we thought it wise to simplify Jesus to a comic book character. Trying to make Jesus something easy to understand has made Him hard to get. Just say this prayer and get saved, just get dunked under this water so your ticket is punched. Here are a list of facts about the man now get out there and be a nice person, and the epic was lost.

What makes it even sadder is that when you try to reignite this epic tale many don’t want to listen or hear or agree. Jesus is this simple list right here and the Bible was given so I could find this list, admittance is guaranteed.

My struggle has been with the giving in. I know better but it seems too hard. Pray for me that I will stand up and share, reality waits, if you think HD TV is great you haven’t seen anything yet.

God bless.

2006-12-05T12:50:00.000-08:00

My Daughter, God and Tap Dancing

Today I had the honor of taking our youngest daughter to her dance class. She has been involved with the class for the past few weeks and my wife needed me to both deliver and pick up our dancing ballerina. I was glad because it gave me the opportunity to watch our daughter practice.

Upon our arrival I sent our daughter to do whatever it is she did to get ready. There were a couple of mothers sitting around and so I sent my daughter off to get dressed not knowing what that really meant or entailed, I only new that I wasn’t going to be any help in that area.

As I joined the waiting moms I began to ask how it all worked. The studio had a window that allowed you to watch the girls as they rehearsed and I noticed it was dark. I asked the ladies if this meant that it was a mirror on their side and they informed me that it was, and that the girls would usually not be able to see those looking in.

The class is an hour and for the first half hour they work on ballet while the second half is focused on tap. I basically was able to experience a combination of Swan Lake followed by River Dance performed by 4, 5, and 6 year-olds.

The watching mothers explained that the girls could see us through the mirror at times if the light was just right and especially when they came near to the glass. I caught my daughter’s eye several times as she realized I was watching behind the mirror and she smiled and waved.

Several things struck me as I watched our daughter twirl and tap her way around the dance floor. I watched with pure joy as I watched her perform. A since of pride came over me as I realized I was experiencing a part of her life, her development, her joy.

I also watched her as she sat on the sideline playing with a friend instead of paying attention to her instructor. A part of me wanted to enter the room and admonish her to behave but the other part of me new that this is not how life worked. My daughter needed to learn to do the right thing because it was the right thing. She needed to learn to listen because it was a sign of respect not because her father had forced her.

As I sat there enjoying my daughter I couldn’t help but think of our Creator. It was one of those beautiful moments as I thought of the pride and emotion that welled up inside of me as I watched my daughter practice and perform, unaware of my gaze. I thought about how often God must look at me the same way. Watching even though I am unaware, loving and longing in His heart, pure joy as I perform my own little river dance.

I thought about the moments when my daughter came near and she could glimpse me through the shadowed mirror and I thought about those times when I have truly glimpsed God. The birth of our children, a time of prayer, a moment during worship. I enjoyed the glimpses with my daughter and I can’t help but think about how much our Father enjoys them as well.

It was somewhat funny because at the end she accused me of not watching because at one point she had looked and could tell I was looking away. She had trouble trusting that I had paid attention to her day. I eventually reenacted her program so that she would know that it was true. Thankfully there are no videos of my performance, the Nutcracker I am not.

At times I accuse our Father of the same and yet on this day I learned something about his gaze. I pray I will hold it near as I dance through this gift of life that He has given.

2006-11-30T10:34:00.000-08:00

Success II

We have been very successful at creating religion haven’t we? Man, in my neck of the woods, the beloved Bible belt, we have a facility on every street corner and a monopoly on Sunday morning. If you can’t find it in person we have managed to give you an internet experience like no other. You can have a virtual worship experience in your own living room.

We have succeeded in creating religious people, should we be proud?

What should we think when someone says they have church on the internet? You mean the body of Christ, the called out? How does one gather with the called out when they don’t gather at all? Isn’t that just religion?

When I was in college my university, a Christian one (As if a university could be a Christ follower), would bring the Lord’s Supper to those students who slept in on Sunday morning. What was that all about? Imagine a drive-thru Lord’s Supper window at your local facility and contemplate what that is saying. Sounds like religion to me.

How sad and depressing that a relationship with our Creator through His Son Jesus Christ has been boiled down to attendance at a building and a pinch of cracker followed by a swig of juice. On occasion I go to Jamba Juice and get a shot of wheat grass, don’t ask, with an orange juice chaser. I don’t feel like I am a part of Jamba Juice for the experience. I am not somehow united because we shared that time together. If anything I am a little of put by the aftertaste, but that is another discussion.

Recently I have been trying to spend time at our local bar. One of our other members spends time shooting pool there from time to time. He was relating a recent experience and all I could think about was religion. A man who was going through a divorce, about to lose his home and family, was commiserating with my friend. My friend steered the discussion towards hope, our only hope, only to be told that if the man ever went to church, sadly Jesus equals building in my neighborhood, it would have to have the Baptist name out front.

Oh man have we not succeeded in creating religion? Wow we have been successful. The kind of brand loyalty that General Motors and Ford would love right now and yet the man is lost. His life is spiraling out of control and he can’t get his head around the idea that it isn’t about building or brand but about a Man who came and said I am the answer, I am the way, I have the hope.

I think we could use some failure when it comes to religion. That is my prayer today that our religion fails and fails because Jesus succeeds.

2006-11-27T08:24:00.000-08:00

Success

How do you measure success? How would you measure your churches success?

I’ve been thinking about this lately as we end 2006 and prepare for 2007. Our theme for 2007 is Making Noise. Now I like that theme and I really do believe it is one given by God for our upcoming year but lets face it, what noise?

Recently I was in a restaurant where a couple of kids decided to get noisy. They made noise, trust me on that one. When I drop something that is breakable it makes noise. How do I measure whether or not I am making the right noise?

This is what has struck me recently. I think believers often times measure success the wrong way. I think we use the world’s way of measuring success. In fact, I’m not to sure that what we have decided to call success is in many cases failure, and miserable failure at that.

Imagine what problems this causes in the body of Christ. If I think something is successful what am I most likely going to do? You know exactly what will happen, I will copy it. So we copy failure and then measure that failure and say it is success. Not healthy.

Not that long ago I was reading about a new church plant that was called a success. Why? Because they started their first service with 500 people and ended up a month later with 1500. Very impressive? Successful? Where did that number come from? If I told you that 97% of those people came from other churches in the area would you still call it success?

Now when one starts to question this they are called jealous, jealous of others success of course, and simply ignored, but my problem is not with success but whether or not what we believers call success is success at all.

In fact what if all these new mega church plants are only hiding our problems? What if they are just reshuffling attendance numbers? Imagine a town losing a business and thousands of jobs to the community up the road, would we really call that success? I thought it was called relocation.

Do you want to know a hidden secret that no one is talking about? Small churches bring more people to Christ than the large ones. Did you know that small bodies of believers are growing at a much faster rate than any other size fellowship? The problem is not with success but with how we measure success. A network of house churches in California has over 100 within their fellowship averaging between 18 and 25 in each home.

What is even more striking is the fact that the numbers are turned on their ear when it comes to those who were believers versus those who are new children of God.

Be careful how you measure success, because it will impact your goals and aims.

2006-11-20T08:43:00.000-08:00

Certain Words

Words are to easily stolen. That is why I have a bad attitude about words like emergent, relevant, relational, incarnational, missional. They are to easily co-opted by the very things they are trying to distinguish themselves from.

I struggle with this because in the end these words make communication easier with those of like mind and yet they can really guarantee nothing because they are words in the public domain.

How many times I have wished that someone using the name of Jesus would just stop, if only we had some card they could carry that said authentic, another one of those words, Christ-follower. We could have some double top secret glasses that showed the real from the fake like with gems.

If only, and then I am reminded that John said you would know them by their love and it all becomes clearer. You can have the words I should be worried about love.

Oh, but words are so much easier than love.

2006-11-20T08:15:00.000-08:00

Missional Done Well

Does anyone have examples of the idea of missional done well? The word seems to be the new buzz word along with Incarnation. I understand the idea and to be honest didn’t know you needed a word to be it but that is just me being smart. This just guarantees I have no friends is really what it guarantees.

Anyway, I would love to read about missional fellowships done well. This came up because recently I was reading a group who called themselves missional and yet all I could get from their site was that they watched Monday Night Football together with a Bible Study at halftime. Maybe that is missional but it seems like it means something more than that. Maybe I don’t even understand the concept.

One person who probably embodies the idea of missional incarnation is Mike Exum. I drop in from time to time on his blog to find out what he is doing. Please note I am not looking for theories or ideas or idealized speech, I want cold hard case studies.

Any other good examples? Bad examples? Buehler, Buehler?

2006-11-18T21:17:00.000-08:00

The Remote Control

Oh how I hate when the remote control falls into my wife’s hands. She seems to have this knack of waiting for me to get interested in a program before flipping the channel or passes by so quickly that I never know what is happening. Let’s face it, we often have two distinctly different tastes in programming.

In the end I often time migrate into the other room with the computer and our other television. I can surf the internet while I watch whatever programming I like. I don’t have to worry about the channel ever resting on the Food Network or Home and Garden. I can be assured that ESPN and ESPN2 will get plenty of air time no matter how many times I have seen the episode of the World Series of Poker. I am fully in control.

The problem is this ability to control pushes me away from my wife. We spend less time together whenever we don’t agree on what to watch on TV. I noticed that it impacts our relationship. It makes us more distant. It becomes harder to connect. That is what control does. Control kills relationships.

It is unfortunate that we often times fight for control in the church today. Whether it is modern or postmodern, contemporary or traditional. The struggle for control, who gets to set the channel, is a guaranteed recipe for division and disassociation. It only helps push believers apart.

This evening I went shopping with my wife. I didn’t want to, no part of me dreamed about going to Wal-Mart and standing in line with groceries and a couple of Christmas presents. What I did discover though was that when I focused on building our relationship instead of how much I would choose something different, the experience was a lot better. Maybe we could all use less control in our life, what do you think?

2006-11-13T13:19:00.000-08:00

Neil Diamond

What do you do when the songs you really loved growing up are classified as Adult Contemporary? My wife informed that I can’t call my music “pop” anymore because the pop meant popular and none of what I like would fit that category today.

I have a sweat spot for Neil Diamond. I struggled with a lot of confusion growing up and Neil was a friend. I remember listening to Neil on my dad’s real-to-real that he picked up while in Vietnam.

Something about Neil always said this guy has it together. I mean on every cover he did there was serious Neil looking like this cool confident cat. If you can look like he did on the Rainbow cover and stand with confidence you must know something that no one else does.

The two albums that hooked me were You Don’t Bring Me Flowers and The Jazz Singer. The American Popular Song is one of my favorites that never makes any of the greatest hits albums. Forever in Blue Jeans for whatever reason still takes me back to a simpler time before the confusion of puberty set in.

I think we all long for something simpler, something less stressful, a place of hope and rest. When I think back to all of my confusion I am reminded of Neil Diamond and my escape and I rejoice that I have found a more permanent place of rest today.

Several years ago I had the chance to go see Neil, sequined shirts and all, but I declined because I preferred the Neil of the album cover. When I discovered that Jesus longed to gather me under his protective wing, that he hoped to give me a place of rest, I abandoned my need for Neil.

I stumbled across Neil on Rhapsody today and listened to The American Popular Song for the first time since I was a kid. As I listen I say a special thanks to God that I have someone much closer than an album cover today to take comfort in.

The songs sound even better now that I live on the other side of the storm.

2006-11-08T16:48:00.000-08:00

Blog Traffic

How many blogs do you read? I just wonder if there is some kind of average. What type of blog do you enjoy? Why do you read the ones you do?

Thanks.

2006-11-07T09:36:00.000-08:00

Authority

Why do you think authority bothers us so much today? Help me understand why no one seems to want to be under anyone’s authority. Is it because of abuse? Is it because of what happened in the 60’s? Did Richard Nixon forever put the final death nail in authority? Did too many people die for no reason when they blindly followed authority?

I see an aversion to authority everywhere today. Do you want to lead? Sure, as long as you do it exactly how I would do it and want it done. If you do something I wouldn’t have done than I will no longer follow. What is leading about that?

What can be done about such an attitude about authority? Is there no hope? What do you think?

2006-11-06T11:18:00.000-08:00

Watered Down Text

Is that what we have today? Watered down Jesus? Let’s face it, Jesus sayings were hard not easy, at least that is how people responded to him in His day.

What about the wealthy young man who approaches Jesus in Mark 10:17-31? Jesus certainly doesn’t pull any punches with him. The text says that Jesus looked at him with love right before he told him to sell everything he had. Jesus says give it to the poor. How many people today are going to follow Jesus if that is what He said?

Now I understand that Jesus follows up this statement by telling the bewildered disciples that it is impossible for man to get into heaven but God can get it done. I understand that, but that is not what Jesus said to the rich guy who knelt before him. He didn’t say that it was hard for him to find heaven but you sound like you are doing a great job honoring your father and mother. It is not what He said.

In Matthew 8:18-22 it is recorded that a teacher of the Law said he was going to follow Him wherever he went. Jesus got really excited and jumped up and down and said praise God, add another one to my growing list of disciples. Oh, that is not what he said is it. Instead Jesus tells this would be disciple that "Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head."

I don’t know about you but that isn’t exactly how we American’s would market a movement is it? Jesus maybe we tell them what you will do for them before we get into this it is hard business.

If you had been sitting at Jesus feet when he delivered the Sermon on the Mount what would you have thought? Sounds easy? Now I realize that we must balance expectations with grace and forgiveness, no one is perfect, but that doesn’t seem to keep Jesus from saying what He needed to say.

I just wonder because recently we have been talking about the flesh and the Spirit in our Sunday morning Bible study. I have noticed a tendency to take some of what makes being a Christ follower hard, love, and I have listened as we try to water it down, at least as it seems to me.

I have had some people upset with me because I really think we should strive to live for the Spirit. I agree we are saved by grace through faith but why, if we believe God’s ways are the best ways, wouldn’t we want to strive to follow them in our lives?

I realize it isn’t easy but isn’t it worth the struggle? Isn’t it worth the fight because of truth? Could it be that the church today gets no traction in our world because we have watered down Jesus words? We no longer look much different than the world around us?

Help me out, am I being too hard? Have I missed something? Do I not realize that this is why Jesus came? Not so much so we would live differently but because we really can’t live differently so we need a Savior? Something doesn’t seem right about that but that seems to me how many have taken His life. What do you think?

2006-11-02T07:25:00.000-08:00

One Step at a Time

I want instant. I love instant oatmeal, apple cinnamon hands down. I love microwave popcorn, the entire popping experience is confined to one pre-buttered and salted bag. I love convenience. Who can resist an instant sandwich already made or a window that dispenses a hot meal? I like easy, easy seems good. Easy means I have a remote control so I can flip by the countless channels I never watch. Easy means I have shampoo and conditioner all wrapped into one bottle, easy means I can self check out with that bottle if I desire.

Working in a faith community typically offers none of the above. I have seen very little when dealing with God that is instant, convenient or easy. I have been inspired by Philip Yancey’s The Jesus I Never Knew to look at Jesus temptation in a different way.

You see that is what Satan offered Jesus instant, convenient and easy. Satan offered Jesus instant, “You need food? Why not turn those stones into bread?” He also offered convenience. “Do you want to build a kingdom? I will give you all of the kingdoms if you will just bow down to me.” What about easy? “Throw yourself off the temple Jesus, you have nothing to worry about, your angels will make it easy.”

I don’t think I had ever put it in this context before. Satan is the one who offers instant, convenient and easy and though they seem best, we know that Satan is the father of lies.

It takes time. We have a man I will call Jack who has been gathering with us these past few months. He is a very helpful man and yet he still does some things that we good God-fearing Christians wouldn’t do. He is a work in progress. The fact that he comes each week says so much about what God is doing in his life and yet I struggle at times because I want to see him all cleaned up and pristine, just the way I think a good Christian should be.

Last night I was talking with our elder about this gentleman and I learned more about how far he has come. He was a heavy drinker and he has given it up. He hadn’t gathered with a fellowship for years and yet he has found a home in ours. He has some really interesting ideas and yet there he is worshiping God, trying to figure out what it might mean to be a Christ follower.

Someone might wonder if we have a proper discipleship program in place. Some formula that will help him move beyond some of these areas. Trust me I understand the desire but all I can think about is, did you want that in apple cinnamon or brown sugar?

Someone might tell you that you need a class for those reengaging their faith. We have a Faith 101 class and some other courses but isn’t expecting discipleship to take place on our hourly schedule convenient? Will that happen when it is most convenient for me, or should I realize that this journey will be one of inconvenience? No, I think he will still make mistakes but if I don’t expect easy will that come as a surprise?

My tendency has been to think I wanted it faster and sooner but when I realized those are the invitations of Satan I have decided I can wait. Trust me I’m not sitting on my hands but at some point I have to know that discipleship won’t be instant, convenient or easy and yet it will always be worth it. I am trying to resist taking these ways out because Jesus never did.

2006-10-31T09:35:00.000-08:00

Men, Women and Elders

This post has been rolling around in my head for weeks but I haven’t had the time or taken the time to put it into words. It seems that God has blessed me with some time as I severely wrecked my ankle playing basketball Sunday. So many shades of purple and so much swelling that I am trying to stay off of it as much as possible. Thankfully I don’t have to stand to type.

Why today does the discussion of men and women always center on who is the boss? How did that happen? I think I understand why and yet it would seem that the church should be better equipped to have this discussion. Maybe this is just wishful thinking.

Doesn’t Genesis 3:15 reveal that with the fall of humanity conflict between man and woman entered creation? Because of sin we will be at each others throats unless we allow the Spirit to lead? This conflict will exist until Christ returns. Isn’t this a good warning to heed? Shouldn’t we see this when the discussion centers on power?

What does Jesus say about being in charge?

“Jesus called them together and said, ‘You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave— just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.’” Matthew 20:25-28

I don’t understand why we wrestle for authority when Jesus seems pretty clear that in His Kingdom leadership means you die first.

Much today has been made about equality and I agree that all are equal, but why has equality taken on the definition of the same meaning no roles?

Let me just ask a question that may show my confusion. I think we would agree that the Father, Son and Holy Spirit are equal. They are all God therefore the same, and yet does that really mean that there are not distinct roles in the Godhead?

Imagine if I told you than that the Spirit could have died on the cross for you or the Father could have taken those nails. What if I told you that Jesus could have promised that the Father would come and live in you or He would come instead of saying the Spirit would be sent to those who believe? What would you think of my theology? They are equal and one and yet they have distinct roles that only one could carry out.

Should we have a problem with that? Should we argue that equality means any one could have been born of a virgin? Why do we not hear the implications of our arguments?

Why is it no longer okay to say we are equal and the same and yet we have different roles that only one can carry out? I think that the big problem is this conversation has centered on power. It is my firm belief that it should be centered not on power but protection.

Men are not better at making decisions, teaching or anything else. They are not better with power. We were made to protect and defend. That is the role that we have received and seemed pretty obvious for centuries until we became so advanced that we didn’t think we needed protection.

The entire Bible’s discussion about men and women is centered on protection and defense. What is Paul really teaching in Ephesians 5:22-33? Is he teaching about the boss, who has the power, or is he teaching on who has the responsibility to defend and protect?

The text says that man is the source of the protection. Paul links man to Jesus and says that as Christ died for the church so should a man die for his wife. The context of the discussion is protection. No where in the text does Paul say that a woman should die for her husband as Christ died for the church.

Help me understand why this is bad and sinister and wrong? The idea of submission is in the context of protection. Allow your husband to defend you and your family.

This concept expands to the church in general. Why are men called to be elders? Is it because they are smarter or better at making decisions or because we are called to defend? Is it because God intended is to have the power? No, we are called to defend the church, protect the body from Satan and the world.

What makes me sad is the fact that the church is supposed to be a defensive group of people. We are called to protect the widow and the orphan, those who are defenseless. Men have been called but we ignore the warnings from Genesis at the strife that comes with sin and instead of taking up the challenge to defend we fight about who is the boss.

May men take their true role seriously and may both realize it has nothing to do with power.

2006-10-26T09:00:00.000-07:00

Replacing of Place with Person

In the gospels Jesus on approaching Jerusalem shares with his followers the common destruction of the Temple. John shows us that like so much of the Bible there is a dual meaning to this statement. In John 2:21, 22 we find that his disciples realized after the resurrection that he was referring to his body.

The Temple was and is a special place. We find Jesus legitimately angry at the Temple when he clears the temple of the cheats and hustlers who prey on pilgrims. Why? Because the Temple was the representation of God for the God’s chosen people. It was suppose to be a place where people could draw near to God. It was suppose to be a place that testified to the covenant relationship that God desired with His people.

I have been reading a text book by Oskar Skarsaune entitled In the Shadow of the Temple this past week and he pointed the way to Stephen in Acts 6 and 7. What brought those in the synagogue of the Freedmen to a point where they could take no more of Stephen? What pushed them over the edge to bring charges against Stephen? In Acts 6:13 they say it is because, “This man never ceases to speak words against the holy place and the law.” Stephen was talking bad about the Temple and that bothered them.

When Stephen quotes Isaiah 66:1, 2 and says that God needs no house to rest in they became enraged and took him outside the city and stoned him. He attacked the necessity of the Temple. Why? Because the Messiah had come. Jesus the trueTemple had arrived, we need no more place holder, no representation because the real thing arrived, lived, died and rose on the third day.

Paul takes this one step further and shares that because the Spirit now lives in us we are the Temple. We are a holy place where God comes near. We are His testimony. We seek to live as a witness of God, our actions testify to His nature. What a wonderful and beautiful story which is why my heart breaks for the fellowship of my youth.

They spend all of their time arguing about place. They spend their time debating what can and can’t happen in a place, never seeming to grasp that it was forever moved from a place to a person.

Recently I stumbled upon the church website of the church we worshiped at while living in Iowa. I listened to the people they were looking at hiring to be their minister and all of their sermons were so familiar. All were focused on place. Not only where all the people applying talking about place, their Sunday morning substitute was talking about place.

It makes me sad because I worshiped with many of those people. Their eldership has changed since our time their and so has the direction. How sad to miss such a basic truth, it isn’t about place it is Person. All of those rituals were a shadow. They represented Jesus and yet they create forms that are a shadow of nothing, place holders that have nothing to do with anything.

I rejoice that today we have the person and I pray that the place always remembers this. Would you be willing to be stoned defending Person over place?

2006-10-24T10:32:00.000-07:00

The Theology of Marriage

I hate performing weddings. People stop by out of the blue and want me to marry them. When I tell them I have some things they have to go through before I will marry them they act as if I have asked for their firstborn. Why do people approach a minister like they approach McDonald's for a wedding? I keep waiting for someone to request super size. "Do you have that wedding on the dollar menu?" I have seen couples who would give more time for a drivers test than premarital instruction.

Why has marriage been cheapened so much in our world today? Is it just the nature of the battle? The image of wedding runs throughout scripture. We find the first man and woman in the very first wedding in the Garden. We see the church, the bride of Christ, celebrating and feasting in the coming Kingdom on our wedding day.

I have been reading a book entitled Let’s Start with Jesus by Dennis F. Kinlaw and he has reminded me about the beauty of this metaphor. What do you do to help those around you appreciate the power of marriage in the divine image?

I don’t think I have done very well. Any thoughts?

2006-10-21T06:57:00.000-07:00

Enablers

Have you ever watched the show Intervention on A&E? It chronicles a series of interventions in people’s lives that are addicted to drugs or alcohol. It is very compelling television as you learn about the person with the addiction and then watch as family and friends step in hoping they will go into treatment.

The success rate is a mixed bag from success to those who don’t even finish rehab. I watch the show and one thing that has struck me is how many people enable their son or daughter, spouse or friend. A lot of people who love them enable them to continue the cycle of destruction. I wonder if we in the church do not play the part of the enabler to often. As I thought about this I also thought about one of my favorite parables. Let’s rewrite the parable, let me know what you think.

“Dad can I have my inheritance. I really want the money now so that I can enjoy the city life. I don’t want to wait until you die. The dad decides to divide what he has between the two sons. A few days later and the son is off to the city to find work and have a good time.

Not long after the father gets word back that his son has been partying a lot and spending all of the money. The dad is shocked and concerned. He loves his son and is worried about what this behavior might bring. He decides to travel to the city to beg for his sons return before he does something he might really regret.

The father finds his son on the street with a bottle of malt liquor. He begs his son to come home because he can’t stand to see him in this state. Dad grabs the bottle of malt liquor to entice the son into his car. Dad takes him to get something to eat and they talk about what it will take to insure his sons return.

The son informs the father that he doesn’t like his older brother. He is just too uncaring and insensitive. The house has too many rules that seem outdated. He begins to vent his frustration about his work load and the expectations. Dad can’t stand this because he really wants his son home, so he promises that he will cut back the work load and talk with the older brother…”

Now that is not how the story we refer to as the prodigal son goes is it? I have been thinking about this parable lately and the way we treat lost sheep. Do we go to them and ask what it will take to get their return? Is that wise? Are we only acting the part of spiritual enabler? When we go out and ask the lost what they need to be found are we really helping?

I don’t know. This is just something that I have been pondering, what do you think?

2006-10-17T07:35:00.000-07:00

Truth and True

This is something that has fascinated me for many years and I wish I understood why people can not separate what is true from what is truth. If someone could explain why this is so hard I would greatly appreciate it.

What do I mean exactly? Our children have a bedtime and a bedtime routine. We start sending our kids to bed at 8:00 knowing that with teeth brushing, bed time dressing, a story from the Bible, and some conversation we will usually have them settled in at around 8:30. Okay, if you have children I assume you have your own bedtime and bedtime routine.

It is true that our kids’ bedtime is 8:30 but is it truth? Is it absolute? Should I expect every child around the world to go to bed at the same time because it is true that at the Hamm house we go to bed at 8:30? Should I teach the church to synchronize their watches so that everyone is tucked in at the same time?

I really don’t understand. How can people not grasp that just because that is true doesn’t make it universal truth? Universal truths are things like gravity and grace, love and forgiveness. They are things that are the same no matter where you are and what you do. They are truths that play out no matter what the bedtime.

Our world suffers the consequences every day when we go against these universal truths but it would seem that the churches inability to differentiate has left us unable to give guidance to a lost and dieing world.

I believe in universal truth but so many don’t today and I believe it is because we have not separated truth from what was true. We have divided over what we found to be true instead of defending truth. We have done such a poor job of differentiating between the two that many lost souls no longer believe truth exists. What a sad indictment of the modern church.

What can we do to teach this? What can we do to show this? Is there any hope that we can show the world that just because some believers claimed something that was true as truth doesn’t mean that truth doesn’t exist? Help me out because I really want to know.

2006-10-16T12:54:00.000-07:00

Lines

We all have lines. A place we won’t go. An imaginary point in the sand we are unwilling to cross. How do we develop such lines? What leads us to draw them and what could happen that would lead us across?

The church has always had lines. The early fathers and the Bible talk about heresy. They warn about those who deny the divinity of Christ and they call out those who claim you can do whatever you want, the soul and body are separate. We all have to admit that lines exist, the problem has always been how we mark them.

Most of us draw lines based on our own experiences. We base what we deem to be proper on what we feel is proper. I hope that in reading that we can see the problem. The dividing line is no longer Christ but instead swings to my personal preferences. In this scenario I become god.

Now we humans are good at realizing this deep within and so we typically find some scripture or verse that we hope will cover our selfishness. Several years ago I was working at a church that was thinking of taking out their pews to add chairs. The facility was small and it would have been nice to use the sanctuary space for more than that one hour a week for worship. Our fellowship hall was very small and class rooms were at a premium.

When we began to discuss the idea one older gentleman who didn’t want to lose the pews brought up 1 Corinthians 11:22. He said we couldn’t eat in the sanctuary. Was that really why? Actually he used the pew in front of him for leverage to help him get up. We needed to know that because we should be thinking of others, but did bringing Paul into it help? Suddenly a matter of opinion was backed by the very word of God. Is that healthy?

Several years later this man went to a church where they had chairs and discovered they were not only more comfortable but the interlocking nature allowed him plenty of leverage to get out of his seat. Suddenly God wasn’t so vocal about chairs.

I don’t share this to be mean, I love and respect him and appreciate this man, but what happened is an example of the danger of this thinking. When we start saying God said so the lines get drawn and they solidify very quickly. One mans concern about getting out of his chair becomes a God who hates to have people eat in the sanctuary. That is not good.

In the end I think the church would look a lot different today if we actually followed what Paul said instead of turning his words into a defense for personal preferences. In the end it would be good to understand that every house church wasn’t the same, that the early church didn’t even gather on the same day let alone in the same way. If we understood that Paul was working to keep such different groups united maybe we would be willing to put more effort into true unity. Instead many use these words in an attempt to force their way on others. How far could we be from what Paul intended?

2006-10-10T14:10:00.000-07:00

First Impressions

Have you ever really tried to impress someone? I remember trying very hard to create these ultra romantic experiences when I was single. I wanted to create that “You had me at hello” moment, that event that would set fireworks off in the background Love American Style. In the end none of those relationships really worked out. Some of the young ladies got scared, this guy wants to be way too serious, while others enjoyed the experience but discovered that we really weren’t compatible.

Romance is great and all but doesn’t it create false expectations? What is really romantic about the dishes, the laundry or keeping the yard mowed? Yet each is essential to a relationship and will ultimately affect the closeness of the relationship.

My wife and I met and were friends for over a year. I remember the first time we met. We played volleyball together and I remember not being attracted at all. I remember our first kiss while she helped me pack for a move. There was nothing romantic about these experiences, nothing out of the ordinary, and yet we approach our twelve year anniversary.

Certainly our relationship has romantic moments, but overall our relationship works because of the day to day. It works because we work on it. We are close at times and far apart in others and yet we constantly work because we are committed to the relationship.

I bring this up because I wonder if we have romanticized our relationship with God. I worry that we only feel close if we have had some ultra romantic experience. A worship service is only good if I felt some powerful movement of God.

I think some of this comes from how we look at the Bible. Do we see the miraculous movement of God recorded in the text and long for the same romantic experience? That really is how we see them isn’t it? Some big out of the ordinary moment where God takes his followers breathe away?

Is that really true though? When Joseph interprets dreams given by God this was not some new breath taking way that a deity communicated with creation. Dreams were the standard way that both God and Satan spoke at that time. No one who received a dream was surprised. The issue wasn’t about a startling communication, but instead on finding someone who could interpret the message received.

Much is made about speaking in tongues today and yet John warns that each spirit should be tested. Speaking in tongues was not confined to believers and was not uncommon. I don’t say this to deny speaking in tongues or any other act of God. I just wonder if our obsession with the breathe taking doesn’t set us up for false relational expectations.

Are there moments when God moves in miraculous ways? Certainly, I only caution that they may not be as common as one might think. Does this mean we should never expect the miraculous? Of course not, I still purchase my wife flowers and I will never forget our trip to Cancun. My point is real and authentic relationships are not built on the uncommon but the common. The girls I wowed with romance are married with 2.2 kids and a dog, someone else’s 2.2 kids and dog. Relationships do not grow because of romantic moments, they grow and are sustained because we work on the relationship with a humble heart.

If you know me well you know I have had these powerful moments, but they are not what I base my relationship on. What do you think? Is the church guilty of romanticizing our relationship with God? If so how does this harm the church? If it is true what should we do about it?

2006-10-06T12:36:00.000-07:00

You Lose

I hate those words. They bother me. I don’t like to lose and we live in a society that hates losing but how do we measure defeat? What criteria do we go by when attempting to decide who won and who lost?

I have been watching the news these past few days and I have begun to wonder if what some call defeat will actually mean victory. They see their party going down because of certain actions and they are in full damage control. They sound like they are scared of defeat. When people start talking about losing no one wants to lose. People begin to do whatever it takes to preserve a win, but what if how they are measuring victory is wrong? What if God is in control of all of this getting done what He needs to get done?

Several years ago my brother found himself in the very unglamorous position of helping a group of believers sell off all of their assets. The church had dwindled in attendance to the point where they could no longer keep their doors open. They sold the building and then divided the proceeds several different ways. One part went to a church plant in another suburb and the rest went to mission work at various churches.

Those who had been with the church for many years saw the sell of their building as a defeat. They were down and depressed as their facilities sold but was it really a loss? Did the church really face defeat? The original group of believers no longer uses the facility but another church does. This church is a Chinese church. These are people this group would have never reached with the good news of Jesus Christ. Other believers were added to various other fellowships in the area and a growing church plant came from this group’s demise.

Was it really a defeat? If you look at the big picture I would say it was a victory. One group who had lost their energy to grow and carry on gave way to another that did. One group who had seen the journey through watched as a new one took things in a different direction.

I was reminded of Habakkuk when he bemoans what he sees as defeat. It is God who chimes in to proclaim that he is doing something that will astound, a work that we humans would find unbelievable. Habakkuk sees defeat when God knows there is victory.

Maybe we spend too much time trying to call winners and losers instead of being reminded that God always win and Jesus has the final victory. Maybe if we worried less about score we wouldn’t see defeat when there is victory.

2006-10-03T11:28:00.000-07:00

Moments that Shape:
Oaks of Righteousness

How does your local McDonald’s look these days? Anything like the one you grew up eating at? Ours has very little resemblance. I mean the bathrooms are still in the same spot in the back on the right hand side of the store but that is about the only thing that reminds me of the restaurant I grew up eating happy meals at. I took my son to ours for a snack the other day and I had a moment that shapes.

The new McDonald’s have even less in common. What am I to do? Should I opine the days of the yellow and red hard plastic chairs? Do I dream of the time when the beverage counter was safely stashed behind the check out counter when a free refill wasn’t even a glimmer in Ronald’s eye?

I was in Panera Bread a few weeks later and I was reminded of how much interior matters. It sends a message. It tells people something about you. It can either welcome people or it can say go away. It can tell people you are a warm and friendly or that you are stale and lifeless.

What about your place of worship? What does it say? I have been thinking about this for the past few weeks as we continue to work on the interior and exterior of our facility. What message do you send people who are invited to your space? I realize that much has been made about going, and I agree, but at some point we as humans will share a space.

Maybe your space is unconventional. Okay, that is good because you are saying something in your space about who you are. I just worry that sometimes people think they can say something about themselves without their space agreeing that it is true. Would Panera Bread still be the same if the space was different? What if the walls were white and the lights were fluorescent and the cups styrofoam? Would the exact same food still seem as good? Would the place be as inviting?

If we are oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord, shouldn’t we be appealing? My wife and I stopped at a place called Life Church this morning. It is a long story but we happened to be down the street and my wife had never been inside. What does Life Church tell you when you enter their doors? Something is happening in here, kids are welcome and this is a cool place with cool things going on. I’m not saying every church should copy Life Church, far from it, jus that their space sends a clear message about what they value and who they are.

If our space says old and outdated why should we think someone would enter thinking differently? If our space says same old same old why would we believe people will think this is a fresh way of experiencing faith? I am just not sure they will. How does your website look? What does it say? In each of these places you tell people about yourself and what you value. What message do you send?

One last thought about my trip to McDonald’s. As I sat their with my son eating fries and talking life I was also reminded by my son that we can do things that make us more attractive that serve no practical purpose and may actually hinder our ultimate goal.

I was looking up at the television at the McDonald’s because it is big and loud and hard to ignore when my son asked me why they had a TV. He didn’t think it was necessary. He didn’t understand why I needed a TV to eat dinner.

I realized after he said this that the TV was actually keeping me from focusing on this special time that my son and I were sharing. The space was keeping me from building a meaningful relationship with my son. We can create an environment that is more appealing and cool and yet forget that we are trying to help foster a relationship with our Creator.

2006-09-28T14:09:00.000-07:00

Moments that Shape:
Praise for the Faint Spirit

I had been a believer for one entire week, or should I say a totally dedicated sold out Christ-follower? It was the summer of 1991 and I was living with my parents, trying to save some money for my final year of college. I remember having some very awkward phone conversations in those weeks. A lot of, “I’m not that person anymore.”

One phone conversation that I had not expected was from a young lady that I had dated in high school. She was actually spending a few weeks at her parent’s house while she waited for her next assignment from the mission board of her church. She was someone I had dated before I had thrown myself head long into all that was sin. I thought it would be nice to see her again, maybe this was one of those moments that God ordains.

Anyway, we went out to eat and she told me all about her mission work throughout the United States. She had worked in AID’s hospices and other places. I was fascinated with all that she was doing. I told her that I had just surrendered my life to Christ the week before.

We had a nice time, it was good to catch up with an old friend but then it happened. We were discussing faith or something, I still can picture the scene, and I made some comment about her not being properly baptized. Where did that come from? I was one week from giving my life to Christ but I still had a lot to learn about what that really meant. All of those years of programming didn’t get erased the moment I said I surrender.

She looked at me and asked what I meant. Well I was raised in the Church of Christ and I knew that no one on the entire planet baptized for the right reasons, only the Church of Christ. You can only imagine my surprise when she explained that her group of Christ-followers baptized for the remission of sins. I thought this has to be a trick. There is no way. I was raised with good and proper information, she couldn’t have been.

Well, I was bound and determined in my quest to share my new found faith. I asked her about the Lord’s Supper. I was pretty sure I would have her here. We would get to the bottom of this apostate group that loved people all over America in Jesus name, but whom failed to recognize the significance of eating a cracker and having a sprits of juice every week.

You can only imagine my expression when she explained that the group she fellowshipped with also took the Lord’s Supper each week. What was I to do? I was only a week into my fully surrendered Christ-life and God had brought me without question to a place of decision, a moment that would shape me in my journey of faith.

Here this woman sat, who in the name of Jesus helped widows and orphans, and I was too young in my faith to know what truly mattered. You may be reading this trying to guess which group she belonged to. Ha, I’m not going to tell. That way of thinking is what got me into the mess that day.

I was checking her brand and I had made some assumptions because her brand name was different. It was a moment that helped define my new found faith. It helped me see something very basic and true. It wasn’t about all those made up essentials, it was about my willingness to love more, care more, and help more. I saw in her a fully devoted Christ-follower not because of ritual repetition but because of a deep love exploding from her heart.

I began to read the Bible and it wasn’t long before I discovered a little book called Romans. I read it and I read it again. I remember wondering why no one else was reading Romans within the group I grew up in, all because a young lady was able to show me that we are not that different when we make love the measure of our faith.

2006-09-26T08:40:00.000-07:00

Moments that Shape:
Beauty from Ashes

My dad and mom along with one of their foster children had come to visit us in Iowa. We lived in an older house and when my dad came around I usually talked him into helping me with some sort of repair. I don’t remember what we were planning on fixing that night I just remember that before we left I remembered I needed something from the basement. I thank God that I needed something from the basement that day.

As I went downstairs I almost immediately felt that something was wrong. Our basement was split into two halves. On one side we had my computer and a television. The TV had an old Sega Genesis hooked to it and you could also watch movies. There was a movie going but no one was watching it. This is what caught me off guard. My son was in the basement with my parent's foster child. A child who had been with my family for several years.

I immediately forgot what I was looking for and began to look for my son and the foster child. I went into the other side of the basement and the lights were off. I will never forget our sons face. The confusion in his eyes. The fear. I remember asking him why his shorts were not on right. I will never forget when the realization flooded over me as to what was happening.

In that moment I grabbed our son and ran. I could tell he was confused and I assured him that he had done nothing wrong. The only thing that mattered in that moment was our son. After several months, a police officer and a Christian councilor, we crossed over from victim to survivor.

To be honest I am a better parent because of that day. The naivety is gone. The hear no evil, see no evil attitude I had would have probably remained if I wasn’t so blatantly confronted with sin.

It is true when the Isaiah says God brings beauty from ashes, joy for mourning and praise instead of despair. Our son does not remember that day. We discovered through the long healing process that it wasn’t the first time. We are taught to guard our hearts but what will we do to protect those of our children? I fail at times and yet I get up, ask forgiveness, and focus on being the man God would have me to be.

Life gives no free passes. Our children need parents with discernment. Parents who are active in every aspect of their children’s lives. This past week I have been reading a book with our son entitled What’s the Big Deal: God’s Design for Sex. It is the third in a series entitled God’s Design for Sex. We began reading them with our children at the age of three.

There is a book coming out entitled Hearts and Minds: Raising Your Child with a Christian View of the World that sounds good. The author will even let you read the first chapter if you ask nicely on his blog. Our world is not a simple place. Our children can’t afford for us to stand on the sidelines because I guarantee that Satan isn’t. He infiltrated our basement, what makes you think he won’t enter yours?

In the end I became a much more intentional parent because of that day. I pray that it doesn’t take a similar experience to bring you to the same place. You may be saying my children have grown and to that I would ask, "Is it time to become an advocate for others?" I don’t share this story for sympathy, God is Jehovah-Rapha, the God who heals. I share to motivate.

2006-09-22T09:34:00.000-07:00

The final post dealing with the statement
Prove It: The Supernatural

It is the time of year when television programming turns to all that is unexplained. I don’t know about you but I use to think I had to prove every supernatural experience wrong. When the television came on and someone claimed a ghost lived in their home I discounted their experience. Every UFO story became someone with to much to drink or was caused by a momentary glance. They all had to have a logical explanation, certainly nothing could be unexplained.

Now I wonder why. Why did I feel the need to explain it all away? Why did I not think maybe just maybe some of them were true? I have been watching a lot on television this past weeks and some of those people who have witnessed UFO’s are not Billy Bob in his truck with a jug of whiskey out snipe hunting. They are astronauts and airline pilots. In short they are people who have been trained in the logical.

Why did I think I had to prove all of them wrong? Why did I have to dismiss every psychic who claimed an other dimension connection? Don’t I believe in the supernatural? Don’t I believe that there is something more than this? Isn’t the very center point of Christianity, the resurrection, supernatural?

Paul warned the church in Ephesus that the battle is not with forces of this world but with evil rulers and authorities that reside in the unseen realm. We learn from Paul in Ephesians 6:10-18 that we put on the armor not to look good to others but for protection. He teaches us that there are unseen forces who rule this world and that spirits move in the heavenly realms. Why is it that I would discount something that proves Paul’s point? Why would I make fun of someone who believes they have experienced the supernatural? Why would I think I needed to prove it didn’t take place?

Recently we had lunch with our neighbor and her family. She was telling me about her mother and some of her own experiences with mediums. Instead of trying to prove to her that this couldn’t happen, that they were fakes and charlatans, I agreed that it could have taken place. Instead of arguing I warned her that she should test each spirit to make sure they are good and not bad. This led to a biblical discussion on how one could do and how both good and evil spirits are working in this other dimension.

We had a good discussion about what the Bible says about the supernatural. Our neighbor has been coming to our church now the past several weeks. Is that why? I can’t say, but I don’t think it hurt giving a strong biblical answer to her experiences instead of trying to prove her wrong.

So many people today are open to the supernatural and we have a book that is chalked full of unexplained events. Why allow ourselves to be pushed into proving something that doesn’t hurt the case for Christ, but only makes it stronger?

Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world. 1 John 1:4

2006-09-18T19:53:00.000-07:00

Prove It: The Earth

How old is the earth? It seems pretty old to me. At times in my life I have tasted dirt. It certainly didn’t taste fresh. It tasted kind of stale, nothing like fresh bread or hot pizza straight from the oven.

I am sure that I couldn’t put the earth on sale on EBay as new. It would defiantly have to be listed as used, and very used it would seem. I don’t think I could in good conscious put pictures of it and say it was in pristine condition. I don’t think anyone would believe a claim that it was only driven to and from church on Sunday. The earth is definitely high mileage.

I don’t have any idea how old the earth is and I wonder why people tell me I have to prove its age. Why does it matter? I realize when a company has in its name, “established in” that this gives one a since of dependability. They have been around for awhile so we know they can be trusted. Okay, but what about the earth’s age, would its age make it seem more dependable?

I don’t know why it matters. Can someone explain? It seems as old as dirt but that doesn’t really answer anything does it? I do know that I will never understand why people think they should use the Bible to date the earth. That would be like trying to use the notes I passed to the first girl I ever kissed for relational advice. It was not the purpose of the letters. They weren’t written to give people dating advice for the next 10,000 years. They didn’t even give good dating advice for the next ten days.

I didn’t write sweat nothings to be passed on to the love of my life for posterity to read and decipher. I wanted her to know something very specific, that I wanted to meet her behind the school by the jungle gym. It wasn’t so that others could equate the trip, measure the steps, and decide what an appropriate distance to walk for a rendezvous would be. No deep meaning of life or love or how to keep a romance for life.

Why was it written?

I become frustrated when people use the Bible in ways that it doesn’t seem intended. Do we really think those early genealogies were recorded so that someone could mathematically piece together the age of the earth? Do we think that it was recorded so that in several thousand years people could critique it against known science? It doesn’t make any sense to me.

It would seem to me that God was more concerned with making sure we understood why the world is broken. That would seem like a lot more help to me then arguing the dates of dirt. What am I missing? Maybe someone can point out what this does matter, why knowing the age of the earth is on the same level as knowing that Jesus was both human and divine. I would appreciate it because I just don’t get it.

Unless someone had a video camera or one of those camera phones I don’t think anyone is going to know for sure. I suppose if we found a cave painting signed Adam then that would certainly help. Of course than all you would get would be some mean picture of a woman, a snake and some fruit, or was that an apple.

2006-09-15T09:50:00.000-07:00

The next several posts will be dealing with the statement
Prove It.

Do I have to? Do I really have to? People tell me I do but I’m not so sure. What should I do?

At times people treat me as if I have some obligation to prove to them that God exists. Do I really? Is it really supposed to be my obligation to give enough empirical data to every Tom, Dick and Harry who asks? Isn’t there an unwritten rule in there that says science is superior to the spiritual? I don’t think people in Hiroshima thought so. We have proven we have the ability to send a man to the moon and I’m still not sure how that has made the world a better place.

Am I going to quote scripture about a God they don’t believe in? Will someone be swayed by the inspired missives of a God they don’t think exists? I could tell them that God’s existence is evident from creation but they were living on this rock before we had the discussion and they will be on that same rock long after it has ended.

I am really open to someone explaining why it is my obligation to prove it. Paul never had to prove that God existed. People weren’t trying to subtract deity in his day, they were constantly adding them.

Every field and street corner had its set of gods. Each city was loaded with enough temples to various gods that it makes First Baptist, Second Baptist and Third Baptist look pedestrian. Maybe I am wrong. Maybe if Paul were here he would spend his time trying to prove God existed. What does everyone think?

Throughout the Bible the message is the same, if you seek you will find. Maybe I’m just trying to dumb it down, but can I not take God at his word? If a person is really seeking God won’t he find Him?

I may sound insensitive but I’m really not. I spent ten years working at advertising agencies and design firms and I had countless spiritual discussions. It just seems that there is a difference between a Prover and a Seeker. I don’t treat the Prover like a jerk, I just refuse to agree that their position is superior. I tell them it is their choice if they want to believe.

I think sometimes we forget that trying to show people God isn’t a way to validate our own beliefs, it is to connect them with their Maker. It is to give them hope and share with them redemption. In the end I told those that I discussed this with that I would treat them no differently either way, that I enjoyed working with them all. Did I handle this the wrong way?

Didn’t Jesus have to deal with both? Didn’t a certain group of Pharisee’s and Teachers of the Law approach him for proof? I think he treated them differently. Did he give them proof? Yes, from an agreed upon existence of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, but to prove something don’t we at least have to have some foundational agreement? When someone doesn’t believe in God where do you start? If they come to me telling me I have to prove it I usually tell them that I don’t think I do. I often add more reasons for them not to believe.

Science and the Spiritual

At some point in time it would seem that people bought into the idea that science is superior or that at the least that science and the spiritual reside in two separate spheres that are equal. I’m just not sure that is true. It seems to me that all is spiritual, science itself exists within the spiritual realm. Have you ever seen two scientists with different opinions on a subject, different interpretation of facts? Look at Pluto. Science said it was a planet, now what? If science was so scientific shouldn’t they come to the same conclusion?

You see science does discover facts. The problem with those facts is they have always existed. Just because no one named gravity doesn’t mean science validated its existence. It existed no matter what scientists thought.

Science just discovered what already exists. Was Christopher Columbus a scientist? In that regard the useful parts of science seem more like math to me. I agree we can find equations that work, how else would the world hold together, and yet not everything works scientifically.

If science was that all knowing couldn’t it create a formula that would keep me out of my wife’s dog house? If I did something the same way every time it would always produce the same results? Instead I find my wife’s emotions, moods, time of month, and a host of other factors impact the way we interact.

In the end I am not trying to downplay science, I just don’t think that I have some obligation to prove everything scientifically for it to be real. Someone can insist I must, okay, insist away, I’m just not at a place in my journey where I feel obligated to agree.

"Who is this that questions my wisdom with such ignorant words? Brace yourself, because I have some questions for you, and you must answer them." Job 38:2,3

There are other things that I want to discuss that people tell me I have to prove but I don't think I really do and I am interested in hearing what you think.

2006-09-14T06:55:00.000-07:00

Spoiled Brats
Moments in a journey of faith

I must confess I wanted to ring his neck. If someone could have read my mind I would be in prison right now. You’ve probably witnessed the scene. The kid wants something and mom says no so the child goes off like a five alarm fire until he gets his way. You look at the parent because you feel their pain, no one wants everyone staring at them at the Piggly Wiggly check out line, and yet you worry about the message being sent.

No one wakes up in the morning and says, “I hope my kid makes a scene that shows up on the six o’clock news.” No one who loves their child sets out to do so in such a way that allows them to be manipulated like a ballot box in a Florida election. It is just not how we envisioned life, and yet I understand.

I love our kids. I want them to know they are loved. I struggle with balancing that love with the fact that I must raise up children who are selfless. They shouldn’t always get there way because it isn’t healthy. I know it isn’t really love to allow them to walk all over me and yet.

I sympathize with the mother in front of me, but I still want to ring her child’s neck. I want him to understand that his mother loves him but please that has nothing to do with you getting a candy bar.

Spiritually Spoiled?

My problem is that from time to time, even though I understand it is not healthy to spoil a child, I want my heavenly Father to spoil me. My tantrums are far more adult, I promise I don’t stomp my feet and turn my lower lip, but they are a tantrum none the less.

Why is it that I understand that a parent shouldn’t spoil their child all the while wondering why God won’t spoil me? When I have tough times what do I want? I want God to bail me out.

When I don’t have the things I want what do I do? I give God a side long glance as if to say, “I thought you would never leave me or forsake me?” When our children try to manipulate me I resist because I know it isn’t good and yet why oh why do I expect the same from my heavenly Father?

I rejoice today that my heavenly Father isn’t worried about what others will think. He doesn’t show any concern no matter how much I throw a fit. He being perfect always seems to know when I don’t need to get my way. He alone is doing a great job keeping me from being spoiled.

"because the LORD disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in." Proverbs 3:12

2006-09-12T09:33:00.000-07:00

A Third Wheel
Moments in a journey of faith

There was an awkward silence, a pregnant pause. We each looked at each other, unsure of what would be said next. The waitress would soon arrive with our meal and I couldn’t wait. We were eating with my good friend Steve, we being the woman who would become my wife and I.

We were dating long distance. She drove down from Des Moines, Iowa to see me most weekends. I lived in Wichita, Kansas and worked for a design firm downtown. We didn’t get to spend a lot of time together since my wife left her work at 5:00 to travel the six hours down I-35 to Wichita. She we retrace the journey each Sunday afternoon.

I had met Steve one Wednesday night at the young singles class I attended. Steve just walked off the street. He really new nothing about Jesus and had just felt compelled to come. He was a recent graduate of Friends University. We spent our time in my small studio apartment playing Sega Genesis and talking about faith.

It was hard because Steve needed a friend. He didn’t really have anyone. He needed believers who could come along side him and give him support. When my soon to be wife came to town we often included Steve in our activities.

But he had this way of getting me in trouble. He had this way of saying things that put me in the dog house, which led to pregnant pauses and awkward moments. But isn’t that what third wheels do? They don’t call them that because they add to the occasion. They don’t receive that name because they make things smoother. They get that name because they cause trouble and difficulty. They are tagged with that name because they confuse directions.

My Third Wheel Moment

I mention that to say that I have also felt the uncertainty of the third wheel. I gave me life to Christ in the summer of 1991. I returned to Oklahoma City for my last year of college with a lot of explaining to do. You see all my friends, coworkers and roommates new me as the life of the party, someone you could always count on to hit the bar or make a trip to a club.

I remember trying to remain the same when it came to spending time with my friends. I mean I had spent the past several years with them. I had been through a lot and we were close. I remember going to bars with them, to games, watching sports on TV, but it just wasn’t the same.

I will never forget that awkward moment, that pregnant pause, the one that told me no matter how much I like these guys, no matter how much we have experienced together, things have changed. We were sitting around my friend’s apartment. We were watching sports and my two friends looked at each other and the pause came.

It took me some time to figure out the awkwardness but eventually I did. You see the three of us use to smoke pot together. We would sit around watching TV, getting high. They looked at each other and back again and you could see that something was going on. You know how it works when you are the third wheel. Conversations take place in code. After some time and tension I decided I needed to go. I remember looking back as my friend made a beeline towards his room and the stash.

They were going in a different direction and third wheels always hinder the journey. I have tried to keep in touch with them over the years but it hasn’t been easy. My closest friend and I lost touch after we both moved. When we talked what did we discuss? For all my good intentions, my desire to be salt and light, the reality was I became a third wheel. Did I stop wanting to hang around them? No, the reality is they stopped wanting to hang around me. Third wheels get that you know.

2006-09-10T14:09:00.000-07:00

Looks Like?

I was going through my old baseball cards with my son and I ran across this Kirk McCaskill card. This is actually Kirk's rookie card, though I'm not sure it will ever be worth any money.

Oh well. Something about Kirk just reminded me of someone.

2006-09-08T08:43:00.000-07:00

The final entry responding to the following article by Rick Wade entitled, Scripture and Tradition in the Early Church at http://www.probe.org/content/view/911/77/

The Body and the Church Fathers

A core belief is that "the church is not an institution on account of its structure or external rites, but exists only when it is voluntarily composed of the faithful." Scripture and Traditions of the Early Church, Rick Wade

What is the church? Who is and who isn’t? I had a very good friend who was a mentor and elder in a church we were part of for several years. When I felt God moving us beyond the fellowship of my youth he changed.

My wife wasn’t raised going to any church. She had no background. Was she at a disadvantage? She didn’t understand any of the in-group language. She didn’t know any of the unwritten rules.

She told my mentor that we had taken on a job with a community church. She didn’t know what this would mean to him. To him it meant we had left the church. He was concerned for our souls. My wife didn’t understand because she hadn’t changed, we hadn’t changed. Our passion for lost souls was the same. The desire to be Christ in our world. She didn’t understand because she doesn’t think in formulas. She doesn’t approach it all like it is a science.

My mentor put us in a slot. A+B=C and C wasn’t good.

We didn’t talk for over two years. Recently he called and I felt the need to better explain our situation. You see it is in most ways a Church of Christ with instruments. I know, I gave him a formula he could handle. After I told him we were associated with the Independent Christian Church things changed. We moved again from lost to found. The entire conversation took on a different tone.

I don’t get this because I am on the other side of the enlightenment. I don’t understand this way of thinking. I will never forget reading the early fathers Treatises on Baptism and being shocked at their approach to baptism. Was it essential? Without question, and yet because they didn’t see formulas they were also able to say that if a person couldn’t be baptized they would be saved because they called on the name of the Lord.

In the enlightenment we said that couldn’t be. That won’t fit a scientific formula. It has to be one way or the other. You can’t be church unless you follow our way.

What formula do you follow? I have friends leery about our fellowship because they think we are charismatic. What they really mean is they think we fit a formula for charisma that was created by enlightenment thinking, but they wonder all the same. We believe in the power of the Spirit working today but special gifts are not the focus of our church.

Sorry, I don’t feel a need to fit a formula, a pattern, I know it was created by a rationalism that the early church didn’t share. Can we ever return to a place where both James and Paul are right and we don't have to harmonize their views? Can I be in a place where to call on the name of the Lord and baptism are not at odds but a part of a more complex journey of faith?

I’m not sure and maybe that is why I type these words, to find what others think. I have heard people talk about it but I don’t know if we will ever truly embrace the other side of the enlightenment. It seems at times that some are just creating a new formula that you must fit to really get it.

The early church believed in the power of the name of Jesus. They had a distinct character, an identifiable body but because they truly embraced the name of Jesus, his Lordship.

They didn’t think people were healed because you had the right amount of faith and spoke it with power. They didn’t think you were saved because you had your mouth just the right way when you were baptized. Do we see how backwards this is? They believed what they believed because they saw power in the name of Jesus. I pray we find their Christ-centered view, not because of a right formula, candles and incense versus structured experience, but because Jesus is our King.

2006-09-07T09:10:00.000-07:00

The next few entries will be a response to the following article by Rick Wade entitled, Scripture and Tradition in the Early Church at http://www.probe.org/content/view/911/77/

Mystery and the Church Fathers

Enlightenment philosophers taught us to see the world as a collection of scientific facts, to look forward instead of back to the wisdom of the past, and to see the individual as the final authority for what is true. Scripture and Traditions of the Early Church, Rick Wade

It was a Tuesday, the last week of July, 1991. There was a devotion and they were singing Jesus is Lord. I had sung the song a thousand times but that day I heard the gospel for the first time. “He was born to die on Calvary’s tree, to redeem a lost humanity, Conquering death he rose triumphantly, and he reigns through all eternity.”

I was moved that night, I began to cry. It was in that moment that I gave my life to Christ. That I resigned as chief ruler and direction giver.

Why? Because of facts? They were facts that I had heard all my life. It was information that I had repeated myself time and time again. There was something about that night that was a mixture of natural and supernatural, fact and feeling, body and soul.

As I walked away from that moment I vowed to never remove the supernatural from my experience. I kept the story close to my heart because I was raised logically. Facts are what it is all about. Did you do it the right way thinking the right thoughts? I feared that since my experience wasn’t some formula to be consumed that I would be ostracized. So I hid the story, kept it between God and I and a few close friends.

I was confident that day that I would follow after Jesus, not because of my own strength or understanding but because of Him. I committed to believe what the Bible said even when it didn’t seem logical or realistic or possible.

I wanted to pray, not because you were suppose to, but to actually have a spiritual conversation, knowing that to speak to God I needed the Spirit’s voice. I wanted to read my Bible, not because I was suppose to, but because in those pages the Spirit inside of me brought the text to life and fed my soul like nothing ever had.

I wanted something more than the dry lifeless experience of my youth. I wanted to experience something that transcended my existence, because my existence wasn’t good. Yes I went to church, yes I learned the facts, but I did not experience life. Something within believed that without the supernatural none of this made any sense.

I know now why, I understand the false enlightenment belief that we can know it all. That everything is explainable and science is the answer. That the facts were going to fix everything. I don’t blame or point fingers because coming from what they experienced it made sense to them, I just don’t believe it is so.

We live on the other side of that today, and the more we discover the more we know we don’t know. Instead of answering all questions we just find more. For every disease we cure another three come along that we can’t seem to stop.

Facts fall flat. We can only figure out so much, but can we truly return to the mystery of it all? Can we, on the other side of the enlightenment, ever return to a place where the supernatural is embraced? Where spirits and demons exist beyond scary movies?

When you return to the early church you find the natural and supernatural. We see Peter responding to Jesus invitation, not because of what was natural but instead because of the supernatural. Peter new the teachings about the Messiah, but only when Jesus filled their boats with fish did he respond.

Paul knew all of the facts, and yet it is only on a dry stretch of road with a blinding light in his eyes that he believes. It is only the supernatural that pricks his heart. Even the most fact based encounter with Philip and the Eunuch takes place because of the supernatural intervention of an Angel and the Spirit.

The danger we face is losing the facts for the feelings. This is why embracing the church father’s seems the wisest course. They embraced the supernatural without losing the facts. I worry that in responding to the enlightenment we will create a supernatural experience devoid of facts, and without those facts we simply have paganism.

Are we willing to embrace this supernatural mystery in just one profound way? Are we willing to embrace the historic father’s understanding of the Lord’s Supper, or are we more inclined to argue the facts? Are we willing to believe the mystery that it gives us spiritual nourishment? That it imparts grace? That it becomes in some way, that I can’t explain, the body and the blood?

Roll this around in your head and I think you may find how willing you are to jump into the mystery of it all, instead of just creating new ones. May we embrace our supernatural heritage without losing the truth of it all.

2006-09-05T07:19:00.000-07:00

The next few entries will be a response to the following article by Rick Wade entitled, Scripture and Tradition in the Early Church at http://www.probe.org/content/view/911/77/

Will the Real Church Fathers
Please Stand?

Enlightenment philosophers taught us to see the world as a collection of scientific facts, to look forward instead of back to the wisdom of the past, and to see the individual as the final authority for what is true. The ideal is the individual who examines the raw data of experience with no prior value commitments, with a view to discovering something new. Unfortunately, knowledge was pursued at the expense of wisdom. The past had little relevance. What could those who lived in the past tell us that would be relevant for today?{5} Besides, the church dominated people in the past. Such superstition was no longer to be allowed to rule our lives. Scripture and Traditions of the Early Church, Rick Wade

I guess the reason this article strikes me is because the beginning of my end within the a capella Church of Christ came when I began to read the church fathers in their entirety.

I had only seen a kind of proof-texting in my life. When something they said bolstered a modern claim of the Church of Christ they were used. I began to read their writings to see if they had the same attitude and understanding that I was taught. I wanted to see if in context the writings were consistent with how they were being used. What I found forever taught me that little in the Church of Christ reflected the first century.

This hit home to me recently when I was talking to a friend who still preaches in the Church of Christ. He started to tell me about some papers he had written for his master’s class at ACU. He said he had been looking at church history.

I became excited and I asked what he had found. He began to talk about the 1800’s and I realized he wasn’t talking about Ireneaus or Justin the Martyr but instead Moses Lard and Alexander Campbell. Why is this? What type of thinking leads to this view of church history?

I found my eyes open when I entered the world of the early church. I found their Christ-centered message refreshing to my soul. I realized that the group I grew up in said they wanted to restore the early church but didn’t want to go back and understand how they responded to the message of the Christ.

How can someone say they restored something that was created in the 1800’s? No first century Christian would recognize the Church of Christ attitude about instrumental music. None would understand the segment of the Church of Christ who says the Spirit doesn’t indwell. How could one claim that which comes from the enlightenment as the early church? How can one say that rationalism had any place in the infancy of the church, that scientific thought guided them?

Rick Wade helps me understand why it happened, a distrust of the supernatural. People had a false belief that we could figure it all out and fix everything. I can see why it happened. Those who came before had the idea that science was the answer. We live on the other side of that myth. We have discovered that the world didn't get better, if anything life has gotten worse. I hope we realize that the church doesn't look more like the first century, it looks less.

We would be blessed if we traveled back to those fathers on a regular basis to see how they understood the message they had received. This effort might insure that no one says they are contending for the faith once delivered when they are actually defending a system constructed in the frontier days of the United States.

The article goes a long way in explaining why but this doesn't give us an excuse to continue down this path. If anything it should convict us that we must change courses for the health of the church. We need to discover Polycarp and the rest of our brothers and sisters in faith. We need to let them stand.

2006-09-01T13:07:00.000-07:00

Up and Out

Football with my son. I guess I never really thought about when that day would come but it is here. This past week we were playing catch with one of the neighbor boys in the front yard. We were doing that offense/defense thing, you know which one I am talking about. I was all-time quarterback and they took turns with four plays each to score a touchdown.

We huddled up and I called out the play. Now I realized that my son was new to this route thing so I tried to put the play in a language he could understand. Of course I didn’t want to do too good of a job or the neighbor boy would overhear and all would be lost.

So I did what any sandlot quarterback would do, I drew the play out on the front of my shirt. It was a finger animation that Walt Disney would envy. I new using words like button hook and fly pattern wouldn’t compute with my son.

I walked him through the pattern, sound effects and all. Here is what I told him as my animated finger traveled the front of my shirt. “I want you to go up here, by that tree. You see the tree don’t you?”

“I want you to turn when you get to that tree and I will pump fake like this.” I gave him a little arm motion with the ball and explained that I would act like I was going to throw it to him.

I understood my son didn’t know a lot of this so I tried really hard to make sure I was explaining it at his level. I told him that after the pump fake I wanted him to cut behind the tree and I would pass him the football.

I asked if he understood. He nodded his head in agreement. My son is a Dallas Cowboy fan, it hurts me to this day, so he wanted me to be Troy Aikman. We broke from the huddle and it was one of those slow motion NFL film moments. You know the ones I’m talking about. The music, the faces, I saw my son and he looked like this was the beginning of his gridiron future.

We stepped to the line and I said hut, then I threw in a few more hut huts because that’s what the big boys do. He was off like lightning in a bottle. He went to the tree, glanced over his shoulder, and kept on going. I pumped but it was to no avail, my receiver hadn’t even broke stride. He did give me the glance over the shoulder but that was as close as we got to our animated front shirt finger drawing.

I looked at my son after I forced a pass into coverage, Jake Plummer style, and said, “Don’t understand what a pump fake is do you?” My son looked at me and nodded his head no.

I then showed him what I was looking for. I walked him threw the route and showed him exactly when to turn. I showed him what I would do when he turned, and then I walked him past the tree to show him exactly when I would have thrown him the ball. After walking with him through the play he understood and was ready to go again.

Afterwards I couldn’t help but think of all my attempts to couch church phrases in ways that nonbelievers could understand. All the times I have attempted to explain what this following Jesus thing is all about, and I realized what would probably work best would be my willingness to walk with them and show them what I mean each step of the way.

No matter how much I work on phrases they can understand, actions still speak louder than words.

2006-08-30T15:08:00.000-07:00

Clean up on Aisle Four

Man was she loud, I mean really loud. I am not sure this little girl’s voice had a volume control, one sound fits all. I mean the kid was going to town, talking about this that and the other. I asked her to whisper but we didn’t seem to connect. Her little sister came over and tried to get her to whisper.

I talked with her about an inside voice and outside voice but I began to suspect I was getting her inside voice. I got on my knees in our aisle and asked her if she had any idea what the Lord’s Supper was.

Her voice was so noticeable because one of our members was sharing a word before we took the Lord’s Supper. The place was so quite you could hear a pin drop, except for my little friend in aisle four.

I remember messes. In high school I worked at our small town’s grocery store. We had five aisles of food. The store didn’t have a deli or video rental center but it worked for our small community. I spent my last two years of high school doing whatever I was asked.

Aisle four in that store was the worst for messes. If you heard, “clean up to aisle four,” you new you probably had trouble. It contained two of my most dreaded products: syrup and sweet pickles. You could mop and mop the area if either of these hit the tile floor but the sticky would remain.

I flashed back to my clean up days as the tray approached. What would you do in my shoes? In our little store back in St. John, Kansas you could have shut down aisle four and that would have insured that nothing destructive took place. The problem with this of course is that 20% of the store would have been off limits to our customers.

What do you do? Those little hands reaching for a tasty snack as the tray and all its content crash to the floor. What could I do? I tried to explain what was happening, not because I’m some legalist, but because it matters. The reality is she is four. Four without ever experiencing church.

What would you do? My little friend’s family has only just begun attending our Sunday gatherings. They have no real church background other than a deep longing that says they need God. They came to our Back to School day and the Spirit really touched their hearts.

Do we wall off 20% of our church for those who don’t know any better? Do we close down our open doors because they may create a mess in our aisles? I really don’t know what everyone else thought that day but I new I didn’t care, because I am suppose to be ready for true clean up every Sunday, no matter the aisle. I thank God that I am at a place that may just need clean up on aisle four.

“It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick.” Mark 2:17a

2006-08-27T14:49:00.000-07:00

Discipleship and the Unanswered Question

You hear a lot about discipleship today. I mean, it makes sense. Jesus said go into all the world and make disciples in every nation. It isn’t called the minor commission or the insignificant commission, it is commonly called the great commission. That would seem to say that Christianity has marked this one as one of the key instructions given by Jesus.

But what does it mean? Let’s be honest, whatever point a group thinks is most important will be what they mean by making disciples. Isn’t that true? If a group thinks memorizing the Bible is most important, then making a disciple will be making someone who has memorized the Bible. If the spiritual gifts are what is most important, then making a disciple will be making someone who has the spiritual gifts.

But is that what it was suppose to mean? I have been thinking about this a lot. “Are we helping make disciples at New Heights Church?” I sit and wonder if we are carrying out what we have been commissioned to do.

I have ended up at the place I am today. You see I carry expectations of discipleship from my personal life experience. The question that rolls in my head is, was the way discipleship was judged in my experience the actual way Jesus expected discipleship to be judged?

Tough question. Not sure about the answer yet. In my experience discipleship has been measured by how “with it” you are. How together you hold everything, or seem to hold everything. I realized that in my experience discipleship was also measured by ones time at the building and ones Bible knowledge was considered essential. Is that the correct way to measure discipleship?

When looking at our church I realized that these were the unwritten rules I used to measure discipleship success, but is that true? Are those really key indicators? How would that work with Peter? How together were any of Jesus followers? In Acts 2:7 the people question what is taking place because Jesus followers are from Galilee.

This fact doesn’t seem to instill a sense of worth in the listeners that day. Men who spent their life as fisherman and tax collectors would not have been viewed as worthy teachers at this point in history. Cicero, in On Duties, said that fishing was considered a shameful occupation.

How about time at the building? The gospel records that Jesus went to the synagogue on a regular basis. Why not more focus on what took place in those places? I don’t deny that he spent time at the synagogue, gathering with the body matters, but is it wise to use it as a primary gauge for discipleship? Maybe I am off on this one, I don’t know.

Finally, how about Bible knowledge? Those early disciples were clueless. They didn’t understand what was going on and often times found themselves totally cross with God’s plan. Would I deem someone a worthy follower who argued about who was the greatest? Is getting called Satan by Jesus a good sign of being a disciple? Not sure I would think they were a particularly valuable Christ follower. I don’t know if I would have thought they were getting anywhere.

Maybe that is a proper way to measure discipleship, but maybe it isn't. What do you think? If not, what should the criteria be?

2006-08-25T07:04:00.000-07:00

Ten Dollars and the Good Samaritan

"What was he thinking, traveling that road alone? Didn’t he know the dangers? Hadn’t he heard the reports of bandits traveling that stretch of highway? It serves him right that he got jumped. Maybe he will learn something from the experience.

Okay, I suppose I could help him out, get him to an inn or something, but that is it. I will pay for his first nights stay, but after that the bill is on him. He will have to figure out how to pay the innkeeper. That should teach him a lesson to avoid this road without some kind of armed escort. I will help him but I’m going to make sure he learns not to do this again."

No these aren’t the thoughts of the Good Samaritan recorded in Luke 10:30-26, but I wonder if they would have been mine. This past week I received a call from a woman who needed some gas to get to work. She said that she didn’t get paid until the end of the week and just needed something to get her to the paycheck. She had heard that our church helped people out.

I said sure, I could help her with ten dollars, and told her I would meet her at the convenient store up the street. She said she would be there in a few minutes in a maroon Grand Am.

I drove to the convenient store and pulled in the parking lot. I had a definite picture in my head of the vehicle and person. We had never met but I felt like I knew who she was. I saw a beat up Grand Am with trash in the back window. I saw a woman who looked like she had seen better times in a vehicle that definitely didn't have that new car smell. I had created a mental picture of who I was going to meet.

I didn’t see the Grand Am. I certainly didn't see anyone matching the description I had created in my mind. I went inside and purchased a candy bar and waited. The only car I noticed was a Chrysler LHS Sedan with custom chrome wheels. The parties in that vehicle puffed away like smoke stacks on their cigarettes as I chewed my candy bar.

I waited and waited for the maroon Grand Am, but there was nothing. Eventually I decided to return to my office, I didn’t have all day. I went back two other times, never seeing a Grand Am but noticing that the Chrysler with the tripped out wheels remained.

Eventually I got another phone call. It was the woman in need of gas. She said she was actually in a purple Chrysler, it was her son-in-law who would be driving her to works car. When I returned to the convenient store I saw that it was the chain smoking crew from earlier. I got out of my car and began to laugh. Their ride was much nicer than my own.

The man followed me into the store and I gave the clerk the ten dollars. Her son-in-law said thanks and we began to talk. During our conversation I realized that I had failed. These were people, people who needed Jesus. Sure they were probably taking me, but I don’t see where that comes into play in the text. I had an opportunity to rise above that, to share the love I have received, and what did I do? I laughed.

The question is not whether they deserved the aid or assistance. The question is, are they my neighbor? That is what I missed that day. Does this mean I give money to every person who asks? No. It just means that I should see them as my neighbor and treat them accordingly.

2006-08-23T07:07:00.000-07:00

Morgan Paige Sweetheart Hamm and the Gift of Service

God has given each of us the ability to do certain things well. So if God has given you the ability to prophesy, speak out when you have faith that God is speaking through you. If your gift is that of serving others, serve them well. If you are a teacher, do a good job of teaching. If your gift is to encourage others, do it! If you have money, share it generously. If God has given you leadership ability, take the responsibility seriously. And if you have a gift for showing kindness to others, do it gladly. Romans 12:6-8 NLT

It simply amazes me, and in many ways I consider it unfair. I have never seen this text come to life more than with our youngest daughter. At this point in my daughter’s life she simply wants to give to others. At a very early age she has wanted to help. While our other two children went to run and play, Morgan Paige Sweetheart Hamm was helping pick up. While others said, “This is mine,” she would always say, “Can I give this to you?”

At no time was this clearly than this past week. My wife referees volleyball in this part of the country, and is quite good at what she does. Her job takes her away some evenings and this requires that I pick up the kids from school. I don’t mind this at all, I am thankful I have a job with such flexibility.

Last week I decided to get each kid a snack while they spent time at my office. We went to the convenient store up the street and each purchased an item they could snack on.

Morgan, being Morgan, shared her snack generously with her brother and sister. They were only too happy to oblige her generous nature. The problem came when the gum Morgan chose ran out. She had given a lot of it to her brother and sister. She had generously shared hers without asking for anything in return.

When she started to get hungry she asked her brother and sister if she could have some of their snacks. They were not born with a generous nature. They told her there was no way she could have any of their snacks.

It was a teachable moment for our other two children, the ones without the natural giving hearts. I talked with them about what Morgan had done, and I asked them what they thought about it. In the end I decided to get Morgan another treat, just for her. When the kids complained it was easy to tell them why.

What really got me though were the first words out of Morgan’s mouth when I told her she would get a treat of her own. The first thing she asked was, “Can I share it with my brother and sister?” She looked at them and told them that she would share.

It confirmed to me this text in Romans 12. It has also encouraged me to find what each of my child was made for, and to insure that I too am being who God made me to be. John Maxwell says that you should spend 80% of your time focusing on the 20% you are good at and it sounds like Paul would agree.

It seems Morgan is well on her way to maximizing her 20%.

2006-08-20T11:56:00.000-07:00

Superiority

My final thoughts on grace

I am better then you. Have you ever heard those words? Spoke them? Maybe you’ve never said them, but have your actions told others that is what you believe? It is a nasty habit isn’t it. I must confess it is a hard one to avoid. Anytime I think I am right, or that my answers are better simply because they are my answers, I have fallen into the trap of thinking I am superior.

Paul warned the early church about such notions. He told the church in Philippi to, “consider others better than yourselves.” Is religious superiority present in the American church today?

Have you ever had someone tell you they were superior because they had a full manifestation of the gifts of the Spirit? I have. Been told you were a brother in error, our interpretations are clearly superior to yours? It has happened to me. Should I continue the list?

Why is it we find so many ways to divide? So many ways to say we are superior? You want to grow a church in today’s culture? Just tell people you do it better than the others. Play on the need to feel superior.

My problem is, when I point out others being superior, I tend to think this makes me superior to them.

What do we do with the fact that the Christian faith has nothing to do with our superiority? What do we do with the fact that Peter and James each tell us to humble ourselves before God? What do we do with the fact that in doing this we will be lifted up?

Grace is supposed to keep us from this false pride, this I’m better than you. Grace is supposed to be the great equalizer. “All have sinned and fallen short.” In Galatians 3:28 Paul tells us that we are all equal, no Jew or Greek, slave or free, male or female, we are all one in Christ.

Yet we divide. Not because of grace, grace says we are together. Grace says we are all the same before God. Be warned, when anyone starts to sound like they are smarter or better, especially if it is me, run the other way.

I praise grace, the great equalizer, I pray that I will live under it so that I never think I am smarter, better or closer to God.

I confess, I am not superior.

2006-08-16T15:24:00.000-07:00

Spinners

more thoughts on grace

I pulled up behind the giant SUV. It was decked out from hood to bumper. It looked like someone’s ride had been pimped. The golden color of the tank shined in the midday sun. My eyes were drawn to the spinners on the wheels. They continued to roll even though we were stopped at the light.

I don’t know where this craze started, and I’m not sure why it caught on, but I see them a lot these days. I mean you can even get plastic knock-offs down at your local Wal-Mart, though I am sure these were not the plastic clip-on sort.

The reason I really pondered this massive vehicle though, was because of a sticker on the back window. On the lower right hand side was one of those Calvin like characters bowing at the foot of a cross. Something in that moment, with the spinners spinning, and the sun shining off all the vehicles bling, gave me this strange juxtaposition. Something just seemed out of place.

I’m still not sure what I think about that moment. I realize that my 1995 Chrysler Concorde is a luxury that the majority of people in this world will never experience. I understand that our trips to see grandparents hundreds of miles away is unheard of in many parts of the world, but something about the image troubled me that day.

It just seemed that something about being a Christian is being missed these days. The purpose of it all has somehow shifted. Maybe it’s just me, maybe I am wrong, and I hope I am wrong, but it seems that flash comes before substance.

I am not questioning the salvation of the occupant of the vehicle, that is not the point. The point is something about how we show we are Christians has changed. Something fundamental about how we shine light into this world is different. Something about how we measure our faith seems misguided.

I wonder why. How did this happen? I keep hearing the words of Jesus when he says, “love each other.” John says that you will know who the children of God are because they love their brother (1 John 3:10).

What excites people about churches today? When a church has a conference what is it about? Have you been to a “How to Love those in your Neighborhood More” conference? Seen any invitations? Had a fellow believer visit your church and ask, “How well do you love others?” I don’t get that question. I can’t remember those types of invitations. How about you?

Truth be told, I can either complain about it or start doing it. I can start talking about it, living it out, and praying that we all catch the desire to love more. I don’t want more bumper sticker testimony. I want authentic love shown to the least of these around us.

Grace wasn’t extended so that I could say, “Look I’m saved,” like some sticker that I put on my window. It was extended so that I could love more and more. Let me embrace grace. Let love be the only measure of my allegiance to Christ.

2006-08-13T21:01:00.000-07:00

A New Apartment

thoughts on grace

They weren’t supposed to tell me her name. I really don’t know why, it seems there was something in her past they were trying to protect. I received the call on a Friday. The next day our church was doing our Garage Sale Giveaway. They had seen an ad on Fox News and had called to enquire about the items we would be giving away.

The case worker on the other end on the line explained that the young lady had been homeless, that her life until a year ago had been one on the streets. The case worker explained that they were moving the girl into an apartment, but she had no money and no real belongings. I guess it is hard to keep a U-Haul full of items when you aren’t even sure about your next meal.

They wanted to know if we would have items that could help this young woman, we will call her Ann, as she gets settled in. I told her that the items went fast and that they could come up early and look to see what we had. I told them to come early and knock on the door and we would let them it.

I will never forget the looks on the faces of all the other people waiting in line. I could almost here them say, “It’s not fair”, but then thinking better of it.

Ann loaded up several boxes of items that day. She packed up a comforter for her bed and plates for her kitchen. She loaded a storage container and pots and pans for her new beginning.

I smiled as they drove away because I knew we had been Christ to Ann that day. We had exercised pure religion that day, we had been there to help the orphan start again.

After they left we opened the doors to the rest. No one asked or complained about this young ladies early entry. I had thoughts of the parable of the workers in the vineyard.

There were other stories that day of people touched in the name of our King as we extended grace.

2006-08-11T09:50:00.000-07:00

My List

I am not a forward person but since asked I will answer.

1. One book that changed your life: God Came Near by Max Lucado

2. One book that you've read more than once: The Amber Chronicles by Roger Zelazny

3. One book you'd want on a desert island: Socio-Rhetorical Commentary series from Ben Witherington III

4. One book that made you laugh: The Time warp Trio by Jon Scieszka

5. One book that made you cry: No Wonder They Call Him the Savior by Max Lucado

6. One book you wish had been written: Why We Should Avoid Labels and In Words

7. One book you wish had never been written: Questions and Answers by Guy N. Woods

8. One book you're currently reading: called to Counsel John R. Cheydleur

9. One book you've been meaning to read: Pilgrim Heart by Darryl Tippins

One thing that struck me doing the list was how much Max Lucado impacted my journey. I have not read a Max Lucado book in years. I own a lot of them but I rarely read them. When I was a new Christ-follower his books really blessed me. He was a wonderful writer who helped me embrace Christ and grace. It is a good reminder that I may have outgrown his books but I can never forget his impact.

2006-08-10T19:20:00.000-07:00

Hope, part 2

(The conclusion to Reactor and Wasteland)

What’s in it for me?

It is a question I find impossible to avoid. It comes up all of the time. I think the question is appropriate. It is impossible for us as individuals not to think that way. Jesus repeated, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” The Old Testament didn’t say love your neighbor instead of yourself and Jesus certainly didn’t change the meaning. Since we are going to love ourselves, that is just how it is, we should attempt to show the same love to others.

A tall order, but one that clearly assumes that we can not avoid the ‘me’ of it all. A tall order when we have a broken core and we are living in a wasteland.

How is your me? When I was in high school I played on our schools basketball team. Well, maybe saying played is a stretch. I was voted most likely to sit the bench. There were games that I was so certain I wouldn’t play that I brought candy concealed in my warm-ups. It was nice having a snack while I sat and watched.

My brother was a different story. He started on the varsity and lead the team to a regional championship his senior year. I say all this to point out the one great advantage to being a poor basketball player. I have good knees. My brother hasn’t been so fortunate. He has had several operations on his knees over the years to repair the damage that was done. I may have ended up with a larger dental bill but my knees are great. The fact that you have to actually play combined with the fact that you have to go up to come down wrong, has left my knees in pristine condition.

Unfortunately, we in many ways are like my brother’s knees. We are all first team players in the game of life. It is impossible to sit on the end of the bench. Everyone who has a job, a family, a home and a whole host of other responsibilities, understands that you can not claim bench warming status. But with the activity of life comes the results and they impact me as an individual.

The Gift

This is why one statement that Jesus makes resonates with me. The book of John records this promise that Jesus made to his followers. “I tell you it is to your advantage that I go away, for if I do not go away, the Helper will not come to you.”(John 14:7) Jesus tells them it is actually better for them if he leaves. The core is broken and there is something better than having God with us in the flesh.

I must go so the Helper will come. We are broken, the core is cracked and our infinite God of wonder and wisdom has sent us the Helper. To give us a new heart, a new operating system. To take away the broken and corrupted core of stone and replace it with one of flesh. (Ezekiel 36:26) To give us life.

The Spirit is not simply some concept or fact of Christianity. Something to be affirmed as indwelling, let’s move on to affirm the next concept. It is the essential item that makes the story different. It is what gives us hope, a hope that we can live differently than the broken world around us. A hope that we don’t have to give into the desires of our cracked and decaying core.

Paul’s letters are filled with this hope. Hope that only came because Jesus died for us. Hope that could only be realized when we were made clean by the blood of the lamb. Hope because we have been made a proper place for the Spirit of the living God.

This is a part of the hope for this world. Shouldn’t believers be a stark contrast in this world’s barren landscape? Shouldn’t a group of people, living in harmony as we were made to be, a light? Shouldn’t it give our neighbors a glimpse of what it will be?

If we will allow the new core to operate, if we will allow the Spirit to rule and run our system, then the story can be different. It is suppose to be different. In Galatians Paul implores the church to “walk by the Spirit.” He contrasts the fruit that comes from our new core with that which is produced by what is broken, the flesh, and he tells them to “be led by the Spirit.”

In the end all have hope. You and I, creation. Each lives and waits with hope. A conscious understanding that one day we will receive a new body, perfect, and a core that is unbreakable. A time when all of creation will be restored. Until that day we must fight. We must fight the darkness that comes from the broken core. We must seek to live by our new operating system, the Spirit. It is not easy because our broken core and the wasteland constantly work to take us back.

Our world needs to see people who model a different way, a way of the new core. Will we always allow the perfect Spirit core to control? No, but that isn’t the issue. The issue is, will we strive to allow our new core, that which is perfect, that which Jesus died to allow to live within us, to be our primary operating system?

It is a fight worth fighting because ultimately I believe a day will come when my broken core will be permanently destroyed and I will receive what is without blemish. All of creation will be perfected because of Christ. All will be fixed upon His return.

That is our ultimate hope, that we can show a glimpse of this in this current wasteland, always pointing to a better place. A place where justice will reign, mercy will be the rule and we will walk with God.

2006-08-04T15:17:00.000-07:00

Hope, part 1
(The conclusion to Reactor and Wasteland)

It’s a big word isn’t it? It carries so much meaning when those four letters are pressed together, yet our story seems so hopeless. Isn’t that why people attack Christianity? The hopelessness of the world? The brokenness that they see? They want to know why. They want us to explain how a God of love could allow such devastation.

I respect and appreciate their question. The question is asked by people who want answers. People who want to know why. Our world is broken, the core has melted down. The question for believers is not why, we know why, but what can we do. People who ask the question want us to fix it. They want God to fix the problem, repair the damage and we know deep within that He is and will. That Jesus is the answer.

How many of you have read these entries and been frustrated? How many have wondered when I would get to the point? As believers we know the ending of the story and yet because we know the ending we tend to skip over some very important information. I know that I to many times want to get people to Jesus without giving them any reason to want, need or even like Him.

The story of a Deli

There is a deli in Ann Arbor, Michigan called Zingerman’s Delicatessen. I read about Zingerman’s in an issue of Inc. Magazine several years ago. I just want to share their concept of training in hopes that it can bless you as we talk about this important story we believe.

There’s a concept taught in ZingTrain’s seminars concerning the mastery of a skill. When you know absolutely nothing about a skill, you are unconsciously incompetent – that is, you don’t know what you don’t know. As you learn more, you become consciously incompetent: you know what you don’t know. With training and practice you become consciously competent, while total mastery makes you unconsciously competent, meaning that you use the skill so effortlessly that you’re not even aware you’re doing it.

Here’s the kicker: in order to teach a skill, you have to go backward, from being unconsciously competent to being consciously competent. Until you can teach it, moreover, you don’t really know what you know. Inc Magazine Jan. 03, page 72

I hope you can understand why that article has stuck with me all of these years. I mean what really is the answer? No, not the ten second answer. I mean the deep meaning answer, the story that lives and breathes at a level for those who want to fully dive in?

The funny thing is the deep answer is actually the shallower. Why? Because it more adequately explains the story. The surface level question, do you want your sins forgiven, is actually very complex because it fails to tell people who know nothing what they don’t know. It seems simple because the believer who shares it is unconsciously competent. They know what they know so much that they assume everyone understands. To explain the deep truth of our broken core is actually the most elementary because it assumes that they don’t know anything.

In this final post of the series I want to look at how the hope that we know and understand fills the questions that all have with meaning. Creation and humanity are broken, cracked at the core, and yet there is hope.

The Creation

Paul tells the church in Colossae that Jesus is, “the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him. He is before all things, and in him all things hold together.” (Colossians 1:15-17)

This is no small verse, no insignificant statement that we can use to say that Jesus is important. This helps to explain everything. Jesus answers all of our longings. Not just our sin but for our broken core, and more importantly, our broken creation.

When the new heaven and new earth come we will see the final answer to the broken core. We will witness the solution to our desire to see things made right. Isn’t that what the environmentalists want? They want to see things made right. They want to see things as they should be.

Shouldn’t we as Christ followers agree? Shouldn’t we second the idea? We understand why it is all broken. We can understand that no matter how much work and effort is put in, everything still seems broken.

What if we can tell the person who longs to see the oceans clean and the forests flourish that there will come a day when everything will be made right? What if we can tell them that the deep hope that they feel is legitimate? What if we can agree that their desire is noble?

We have the answer and it is Jesus. He holds all things together and they have been broken by sin. The core has cracked and no matter how hard we try it can never be fixed. As believers we do our best to model our desire for reclamation. We seek to be responsible with our

belongings. We seek to treat creation better. Because we believe we can fix it? No, but because we know who can and will. We model hope for creation by trying to be hope in every area of our lives.

How about justice? We believe that one day God will repair all of this and make it right. We see the AIDS epidemic in Africa and we seek to show we care. We want people to see that they matter to God, that they are redeemable, that they can have hope.

Why is our solution superior? Because we can all see that no matter how many laws we pass, no matter how much money we raise. The world is cracked and broken. No matter which party rules the White House things go wrong and creation suffers. We have hope because we believe that Jesus will come again and make it right.

What other answer is there? That all humanity has this deep hope without any way for it to be realized? That we desire creations repair, that we long for justice only to find that it is hopeless? I don’t believe that. I believe that I have the answer. That Jesus is the answer. That He makes sense of all of this mess, this brokenness. That we seek to model Jesus in his desire to fix what is broken but that we ultimately fail because we live in a wasteland. That in the end Jesus is the ultimate answer for what burdens us inside.

I don’t believe in Jesus simply because Christianity is the most popular religion in the country of my youth. I believe in God the father, His son Jesus Christ, and His Holy Spirit, because it best explains my experience. It explains why everything is such a mess, the core is broken, it best explains why everything breaks down, I live in a wasteland, and it is the only one that gives hope for what I long for that never seems to come.

To be finished…

2006-08-01T06:49:00.000-07:00

Wasteland, part 2

What can we do?

We are a curious people. Is that a bad thing? We like to solve problems. How else can you explain a game show where they give the answer and you have to figure out the question. We like to solve problems. Our history is littered with individuals who saw a problem and asked, ‘What can we do?’

We have a long list of examples of such men and women. Men like Ladislo Biro. His name is one of those that jump to mind when you think of inventor’s right? How about Mary Phelps Jacob? I am sure that everyone is thankful for this pioneer who asked, 'what can we do?’ Douglas Engelbart is a name that probably rolls off your tongue. I am reminded of my gratitude as I type this. I have more, what do you think, should I share?

These great pioneers have had a great impact on our society and yet I didn't know any of their names or what they invented until I researched for this entry.

I want you to think about this. Do we really believe that without James Ritty we wouldn't be able to check-out at a grocery store? Do we truly believe that without Benjamin Franklin I would be working on this by candlelight?

You may be asking, 'what's the point'? You may be thinking, he's been up late typing, too much coffee. The point is, all of these, "inventors", have one thing in common. No, not the ability to say 'what can we do', they were all first. They ran to the patent company before the person down the street. They had the "EUREKA" moment, days before their next door neighbor. We are too easily impressed with ourselves. We are impressive, but not because of whom we are, but whose image we carry.

No matter how many wonderful inventions, or how many flavors of coffee with different names and ways to make it, we are still living in a world with a broken core. No matter how nice our home, the size of our bank account, we reside in a body with a broken core.

Where to next?

We should grieve over our broken core because we are hopeless to fix it. But if you know anything about our Creator, our God, then you realize already that this is not a bad thing, but a good one.

I want to give you just a glimpse of how God responds to the broken core. In Genesis 3 God comes to Adam and Eve and explains to them what their actions have brought. Historically man has little appreciation for consequences. If you have ever witnessed a government program go bad, then you know this already. When we throw a rock into a pond we think we just added a rock to the pond. We are typically not looking at the ripple and waves. If the rock is big enough, like the meltdown of our core, the ripple is enormous.

In Genesis 3 God explains just how large the ripple is. Man, woman, creation, and serpent get an explanation. If we simply stop with the explanation then what we have is hopelessness. The core is broken, everything is in meltdown, all is decaying, dying. But look at what God does. Read on and see who our Creator is, who our God wants to be. In Genesis 3:21 "The LORD God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife and clothed them."

How many disasters have you had around your home? Have your children ever decided that the paper on the wall was more drawing pad than decoration? Do you know just how much toilet paper it takes to plug the toilet? Maybe something worse. Come home to find your child passed out on the garage floor? Found their stash in their dirty clothes?

As I was writing this I experienced a "disaster." I took our three children to watch a junior high basketball game. Well, I guess more accurately, I took our children to play while I watched a junior high basketball game. I told the children that I would buy them a treat at the game.

Our oldest insisted on Skittles. You know, those bite size candies, taste the rainbow? About half way through the bag, as I attempted to watch basketball and keep an eye on the kids, I heard what sounded like marbles cascading over the tile floor. I looked over to see our son frantically trying to retrieve the candy before it spent too much time on the ground, five second rule. After explaining that the five second rule was void in public places, never know where that floor has been, we began to retrieve the "disaster."

I decided that our son had had his chance with candy that night. He was just going to be stuck with less candy than his sisters. Nathan had his chance with his Skittles, tough luck. That was my response. Thankfully his mom had another plan. She purchased him another bag. She explained the need to share with his sisters, but she wanted him to enjoy his treat as well.

I modeled what comes with the broken core, my wife showed me a glimpse of God. Isn't that what Jesus teaches us? Jesus explains that He "did not come to judge the world, but to save it," and again, "If you had known what these words mean, 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice,' you would not have condemned the innocent." Judgment comes with what is broken and Jesus warns us not to. Like God clothing Adam and Eve, my wife extended Grace. Did my son deserve another bag? No. Did his actions draw her response or did her love?

The world was broken, turned into a wasteland by sin. The core was cracked, and is still in the same condition. What did God do? Did he tell man tough luck, you dropped your bag. You had the treat of the garden and you blew it. No, God explains the consequences of the meltdown, and then he made them a new set of clothing.

I don't react that way to my disasters and they are of no consequence when compared, but God did, and it is in this simple truth, this plain statement that gives us hope. The core is broken, the wasteland is unavoidable and God offers us clothing.

What if Jesus didn’t come just to take away our sins, but instead to take away our sins so that we could be clothed? Would that change the way we see hope? Would that change what we hope for? Would it change the way we live in this wasteland?

2006-07-25T07:40:00.000-07:00

Wasteland, part 1
(A continuation of Reactor, part 1 &2)

They called them liquidators. The brave men and women who entered the Chernobyl Power Plant after the meltdown. They worked to stop the fire and clean up the destruction. No one has a detailed list of the clean-up. How many hours it took, the number of brave souls who worked on it, or even their names. There is an uncertainty in how the activities of the crew and the amount of radiation each was exposed to will affect these workers in the future. This is the reason that no one knows their names. Those in charge don’t want people to know the damage done. The cost of the clean up. The lives that were affected.

Does any of this sound familiar? No one wants to take responsibility. No one wants to asses the actual damage. No one wants to come face to face with what was done and what the aftermath has brought. In many ways the picture of Chernobyl is the picture of our meltdown. No one wants to take responsibility. Adam points his finger at Eve and in essence, points at the Maker. He says “The woman you put here with me.” He not only points to the woman, tries to avoid responsibility, but he blames God.

How many of us would enjoy a world where there was only one command that could cause damage, one that could wreck the core? Every day the news covers a list of sins brought about because of the broken core, and we cry. If only we had that perfect core, if only we could experience what it was like before the meltdown. Eve was no better. One thing that I appreciate about Eve is at least she understood that Satan had tempted her, not God. She knew that what happened was ugly. She understood that it was not what God had intended. She knew that Satan had fooled her and there was no way to change what had been done. But she still blames. She still says it is the serpent who deceived her.

Very little has changed

We still live in a world that in most cases is unwilling to deal with the consequences. How many of us deal with sin in our lives by acting like it doesn’t exist? Even Christians who should know better often attempt to sweep sin under the rug of daily life. Putting it under the carpet doesn’t fix the problem, it simply allows it to grow undetected.

How many times does Jesus instruct the disciples to take care of their sin? If a brother sins against you go and take care of it. If you have an issue with your brother go before you leave your sacrifice and take care of it. We can also read as the apostle Paul instructs the early church to take care of their anger that day, don’t wait, don’t try to sweep it under the rug. This is not focused on sin and forgiveness, it is about our broken core, but these issues must be understood, the wasteland needs to be seen, before we can address the core.

In the end, often times no one wants to take blame. No one wants to see the list of causalities. No one wants to recite the damage done, but we can, and we should. Until we identify the extent of the damage we can never see how incredible our need is.

We understand wasteland. We understand that there are places we don't want to go and things we don't want to see. No one that I know of plans their summer vacation around a trip to the Chernobyl region of the Ukraine. The area is bleak and uninhabitable. If you do go you will want to wear a protective suit. You will want to keep the trip to a minimum. Yet we live in a creation that is broken, the core is cracked. A power more destructive than radiation has created a wasteland in our hearts, a wasteland that permeates our world. How do we live in this wasteland?

Soon after the explosion and core meltdown in Chernobyl the Russians built a sarcophagus around the site to contain the radiation. A sarcophagus is a large cement encasement that entombed the reactor to insure that radiation doesn’t continue to leak. Now due to cold and snow, wind and rain the sarcophagus is weakening and in danger of collapse. You see all man can really do is attempt to contain the damage.

No matter how much we pickup or throw away, it is impossible to do more than contain the damage done that day. Robots are all that is allowed into the dark reactor number four. The danger is too great, the damage to severe. The site is a hostile environment now because of the destruction, the meltdown, the cracked core.

The area is constantly monitored and measured, tested and retested. Man is attempting to contain and to keep the area safe, but there is nothing we can do to fix it. The damage is already done, cleanup is all we can afford. You and I are no different.

You see, just as man can not cleanup Chernobyl and make it an inhabitable place, we can not clean up our own core. No matter how much we may say we can. Some believe we can at least clean up some, pick up scraps here and there, get rid of a sin of this and that, but it’s not true, we are helpless. In the end it really doesn’t matter how attractive they make Chernobyl look, it can’t change the broken core. No matter how many flowers they plant, no matter how much paint they scrape, the core is still broken. And no matter how many good actions we take, no matter how many nice things we say, we can not fix our own broken core.

If you went there today you would see empty buildings. A deserted amusement park. You would see land that seemed normal if you didn't know the truth of what took place, that lurking within each crevice, each drop of water, each particle of dust, something sinister remains. Something deadly has taken hold, and because of it mankind takes precautions.

What hope do we have? We live among the ruins. Surely there must be something, some way to survive in this wasteland.

To be continued…

2006-07-23T06:15:00.000-07:00

Reactor, part 2

our broken core

In many ways we are like Chernobyl. Our core is broken. Our very existence has a crack. We have melted down and the disaster that has come makes Chernobyl look like a stubbed toe. Sin was introduced in the garden and the core of man, our spirit, was broken. No, our meltdown isn’t something we can blame on technicians or time of day, it comes from sin.

Certainly we can look at Adam and Eve and point fingers, but in the end those fingers will never clean up the mess. Each of us has to deal with the cleanup of that disaster those many years ago. When sin was introduced into creation a meltdown occurred, which in the end, cracked our core.

"for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" Romans 3:23

It says it simply enough, and yet the words, if we allow, hardly magnify the extent of the damage. Paul not only shares our broken core, our cracked and decaying reactor, but he explains that creation also carries the burden.

Paul uses the word "groaning as in the pains of childbirth." This is no simple statement, this is pain, unbearable pain. There is a reason that the doctors have the host of machines and medicines available when a woman gives birth. Our world feels such pain, such agony, from the broken core caused by sin. Creation is also in bondage. Creation is subject to frustration and decay, just as man is.

Creation is in bondage and decay, earth is in meltdown, she is broken along with you and I for the same reason: sin. God goes on to explain in detail to man and woman what will come with this new cracked core. He tells of the damage that meltdown brings, and it is not pretty.

Something must be done.

With the statement that all have sinned Paul shares that we are all broken, our core is in need of repair. The destruction that came at Chernobyl on a cold April morning cannot compare with the damage that has been done. Simply turn on the news. Open the history books on the shelf of your home or library. Search on the internet under war and destruction, natural or otherwise.

You will find page after page, photo after photo, image upon image, of a broken world. Of broken people, many are unaware that their core is even damaged, let alone in need of repair. If we only watched the news, if we only looked in the mirror, the destruction in the perfect garden that day would be cause for alarm.

They had a plan at Chernobyl, a fail-safe. Unfortunately it was operated by men, men with a broken core. Aren’t you thankful that our creations operator has no tired technician, no disinterested individuals in safety positions, no one who lacks appreciation for the depth of the situation? Thankfully there is hope for what is broken.

2006-07-18T10:24:00.000-07:00

The Reactor, part 1

Reactor number four was scheduled for routine maintenance this cold April morning. Nothing new or different from the countless times before. Maintenance was like rest, a constant need. There is not a plant, office building or factory that doesn’t have a maintenance department, there always seems to be something in need of repair. All have something to maintain.

On April 26, 1986 the Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant had scheduled routine maintenance for Reactor 4. The decision was made to take advantage of the maintenance shutdown to run a test. They wanted to find out if enough power could be generated during shut down to operate emergency equipment and core cooling pumps. They were about to find this out and much more.

Unfortunately the Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant had a history of poor safety procedure. There are few places one can get away with poor safety procedures, men might say the bathroom, but I am sure no one would think of a nuclear power plant. At 1:23 a.m. technicians at the plant began the process of the shutdown and the test.

The reactor was to be shutdown to 1,000 MW, which means very little to me but to someone running a nuclear power plant capable of producing one gigawatt of electric power, it matters. Instead of shutting down to the prescribed wattage the operator allowed it to fall to 30 MW. Now, math was never a strong subject but even I can figure out the problem here.

The technicians in charge immediately attempted to remedy the problem, but instead of correcting their mistake they only managed to make it worse. Isn’t that so often what happens? The actions we take to correct inevitably inflame. On April 19, the Chernobyl Power Plant’s fourth reactor overheated, causing a meltdown of the reactor core.

The meltdown caused two massive explosions that sent clouds of deadly radioactive materials drifting over farms and fields, cities and lakes. The disaster was 100 times worse then that of Hiroshima. The core broke, cracked, melted down, and with it came disaster.

Another meltdown, another core cracks.

I’d like to jump back even further now. Not ten years or twenty, not even 2,000. I would like to move back to look at another disaster. These two disasters have a great deal in common.

Unlike the Chernobyl Power Plant which had certain design flaws which were exasperated by careless safety procedures, this plant, or better put planet’s, design was perfect, as perfect as its Creator.

In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters. Genesis 1:1,2

I wonder at times if I miss the magnificence of the occasion. Could the familiarity of the verses keep me from seeing exactly what is being said? Imagine the crackle, the energy, the pure excitement that must have been present at that moment. There was nothing and then there was something. It wasn’t just something, it was really S-O-M-E-T-H-I-N-G!

I have a friend who once created the world’s largest burrito. Okay, he had help, lots of help, but still he was part of its creation. He has explained in detail the construction of this giant burrito. The hundreds of people involved with planning. The special grill that was constructed for the effort, the massive amounts of preparation that went into the day. I am amazed at the amount of beef and cheese, the gallons of salsa and sour cream. My stomach always gets a little queasy when he explains how they constructed their creation. With snow shovels to scoop and flip, throw and spread. With oars to stir and chemical sprayers to shoot. The special tortilla that was created and how thick it had to be.

It was a twelve foot burrito. You couldn’t use your mother’s spatula for this cooking. Pampered Chef doesn’t have a catalog big enough or a product specialized enough for this creation. Go to Taco Bell and purchase a burrito, pull it out of the wrapper and try to imagine extrapolating (big word I thought worked) that out to 12 feet. It was an incredible event.

Now I have a weak stomach so I can’t even imagine how I would have ate such a creation. When they finally finished, the cooking, the spreading, the cutting, my friend said it was the worst tasting burrito he had ever eaten. They did find a place in the Guinness Book of Records for them, fortunately a tantalizing taste was not required.

Imagine what it was like creating the world. No shovels, not two inch shells, God simply spoke it into being. This creation we are discussing was simply talked into existence. I have trouble getting our dog to sit, let alone come and fetch, and yet God said “Let there be light,”1 and there was light. My friend went to great lengths to get their names in a book, God created his so we could get our names in His book.

And unlike my friends giant twelve foot burrito that tasted like a snow shovel, God saw that it was good. At each turn and with each breath. God could see that His creation, yes His creation, was good. Then it came.

Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, in our likeness” Genesis 1:26a

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God He created him, male and female he created them... Genesis 1:27,

God saw all that he had made, and it was very good.Genesis 1:31a

Let’s take a moment to rest here, God did. Let’s take a moment to remember, God gave an entire day, to think about the perfect creation. God was there, Jesus was there that day, John attests to this truth in the gospel of John and the Holy Spirit was there on the water, a part of God’s perfect creation.

You know where this story is going don’t you. Just like Chernobyl, we can return to the scene of the disaster. Just like Chernobyl, we can go back and understand why. But just as with Chernobyl, we are helpless to stop, or alter the consequences in any way.

God established man and woman as his ultimate maintenance department. He gave them His wonderful pristine creation and said this is what you need to do to maintain it. I admit that sometimes I struggle with directions but these? He tells them to be fruitful and increase in number, I have never seen this as an issue. He gave instruction that man and woman were to have authority over all living creatures. He gave us a grocery list that anyone would envy. Then He explained that there was only one tree that’s fruit was not to be eaten.

Adam and Eve, like the technicians at Chernobyl, were careless. They paid little attention to the safety procedures that had been established. Eve shows this lack of concern when she can’t even remember exactly what God said to them in regards to the tree. She misquotes God’s safety instructions. And just as a lack of concern doomed the number four reactor along with the entire Chernobyl Power Plant, a lack of concern doomed Adam and Eve along with all creation.

The reports after the Chernobyl disaster identified a “lack of a safety culture” in the plant. Genesis chapter three shows a lack of a safety culture in man. The choice was given and man chose sin. I don’t know the exact time but I do know it took place in the cool of the day. I’m uncertain of the season, not sure if I could identify the month, but I can see the results.

Just as the core of reactor four melted down, cracked and broke, creation itself, what God had called good, melted down that day. With one bite of the trees’ fruit, sin entered creation, and it hasn’t been the same since. We can return to Chernobyl to see the damage, with creation there is no need. We need look no further than the mirror.

2006-07-10T20:06:00.000-07:00

Listening

We have returned from the great state of Montana. Only one detour on our road trip back. I am sure South Dakota looks wonderful this time of year, but I can think of nothing more depressing than finding yourself looking across its border at two in the morning when your goal is Colorado. Oh how I longed to see Casper, Wyoming that night.

We did a lot of fishing during our time in Montana. A lot of fishing, not so much catching. We backpacked in to one particular spot, the Widow Coulee. Now I didn’t know what a coulee was at the time and never thought to ask my father-in-law. When we hike in, I always think of a widow’s peak, but I’m sure they are not related. Oh, a coulee is a deep canyon, but I have no idea how it became a widow.

We fished along the Missouri River. One particular day we fished from the early morning until late afternoon. At a certain point I decided to steal away from my wife and father-in-law and take some time for quiet meditation and prayer. I grabbed my CD player along with David Crowder and went looking for a peaceful place.

As I walked down the shoreline I saw a rock protruding from the middle of the river. I decided to wade out to the rock and use it as a perch to pray. Well, saying it was out in the middle is a bit of an exaggeration. The river was about two football fields wide at this point and the rock was about half way through the first field’s end zone. I did have to wade in and get wet, but the distance was only 5 yards. I know it ruins that visual you may have created of me fighting the rapids to find a place of peace but I want to be accurate.

As I stood on this rock I began to think about my journey. I began to contemplate my place and I must confess I began to ask questions. I ask a lot of questions. Questions are something I never seem to run out of. It was on that rock in the middle of the Missouri River that a very distinct thought popped into my head. A thought that I could even make out over my loud David Crowder Band. The word that kept coming to my mind, that hasn’t left since is, listen. Just listen. Stop asking so many questions and just listen. The thought exploded as the current exploded around the rock.

“Listen to what I have to say. If I wanted you to know something don’t you think I would tell you?” What a powerful thought that ran through my head. I pray a lot, but I often find myself asking questions. It was at this moment on this rock that I said I would stop. I committed to end my childish rants. It was time for me to listen. Time for me to believe that if God had something to say he was quite capable of saying it without me levering His words with an eloquent prayer or a quite place of meditation.

I have this picture of Moses in my head. He is wondering in the wilderness area around Horeb. Along every valley and upon every hill he asks the shrubs to talk to him. He implores every bush, plant and tree to give him a message from God or to show him a sign. I can see the frustration grow on Moses’ face as each bush remains silent. No fire, not even a hint of smoke.

I think of Joseph as a child. I imagine him sitting around just hoping for a dream. As if he were saying, “Give me a dream God, something that will show me what will happen when I grow up. Give me confidence that you have a plan for me.” I can see Joseph sitting around with that snazzy coat of many colors and I can hear the exasperation in his voice, “No dream last night God, I need that dream.”

But that’s not the story is it?

That isn’t how it happened. Moses didn’t head out to the hills and dales in search of a message from God. God found Moses. Joseph didn’t ask for some great purpose, he was mostly trying to stay out of trouble with his brothers.

They weren’t asking for special insight. They weren’t even asking for some special task from God. In each of these stories they are just living, making time, working and getting the job done.

God chose them. God revealed himself to them. God spoke to them. No insistence on their part. No indication that they even wanted to get so fully involved in God’s story. I want to listen. To hear. To believe that I am right where God wants me. He is that big you know.

I believe that if He wants me to know something He will let me know. He will make me fully aware if I will just listen.

2006-06-26T09:20:00.000-07:00

The View

This past week our family traveled the 1,468 miles to Great Falls, Montana in 22 hours. We traveled through a lot of country that I was very familiar with. I have spent the majority of my life in Kansas. It is where I met my wife and learned to drive. It is a place that fits like those worn jeans.

The sun began to dip as we traveled I-70 across the northern half of Kansas. As I looked out for miles in every direction I couldn't help but think of the beauty of it all. I find something beautiful about the wheat fields and rolling hills that make up the landscape in this corner of creation. The more I can see, the happier I am. To me it is a beautiful view.

Now my wife grew up in the mountains of Colorado. She loves the cozy space that is central Colorado. There is no better view than one nestled at the base of the Rockies. She enjoys snowmobiles and pine trees. Two items you won't often find on the prairies of Kansas. She thinks the flat, treeless land is ugly. I tried to explain the beauty of it all, but she just isn't buying it.

When I go to the mountains I have one goal in mind, to get to the top so I can look back out and see open country. I want the view that goes on for miles. If you get me in mountains for to long I start to get claustrophobic. It makes me feel uncomfortable, like I need to come up for air. My wife on the other hand finds it cozy and relaxing. To her there is no better view.

I'm going to guess that everyone to a degree is the same. We have a place that feels right. That is more comfortable. Where we know what to expect. A place that gives us the feeling of safety. For me that place is Kansas. It is in the view.

The View from the Pew

I think it would help us if we realized that spiritually we are the same. Just as the view in Kansas gives me comfort, the worship experience does the same. People go to war over worship. They battle for what is comfortable. I have no problem understanding this desire. We have something built in that looks for rest. My problem is when we begin to say that one is better than the other, more scriptural or more spiritual. When one is presented as being better at saving lost souls. That bothers me.

When someone starts to say their way is better, more holy and more pleasing to God I have to beg to differ. It has nothing to do with God and everything to do with you. It would be like me telling my wife that the view in Kansas is more pleasing to God. Can you hear the arrogance in the statement? Can you hear the subjective nature if the words?

Why can't we just appreciate that we are different? That our life experiences take each of us in different directions?

This past week I went to a place called The Bridge. It caught my wife's attention because it said it was a clean and sober place to hang out. We stopped in. We met the owner and took some time getting to know her. She told us her life experience and then shared the goals of The Bridge. She did a nice job making us feel welcome but everyone else in the building just stared at us like we had broccoli in our teeth or an extra head.

She mentioned that she didn't feel welcome at many of the churches in the area. What struck me is that I understood how she felt. I didn't look the part of the recovering drug addict. She complained of the coldness she felt and after we left I realized I had felt the same coolness inside.

We all have personal biases. We all have places that we feel comfortable at and places we don't. We have people we like to hang around and others that we just don't click with.

I really think that is okay. I really think it is how God intended it. The world is full of different views. Different places of comfort and rest. One person sanctuary is anothers prison. Why can't we understand this as we move through life? Why must we judge another's view less spiritual, less pleasing to God, just because it doesn't work for us?

Paul dealt with this as he wrote to the church in Rome. He said to respect the others' view. Romans 14:10 says, “You, then, why do you judge your brother? Or why do you look down on your brother? For we will all stand before God's judgment seat.” Paul tells them that God is the judge. Right before this Paul says that we will stand because the Lord is able to make us stand.

When we begin to judge style we make ourselves God. Paul understood this and he warned the church in Rome about this very behavior. What hits me is that the Jews continued to worship on Saturday. The Gentiles worshiped on Sunday. They met together to share the agape meal and Lord's Supper. The Jews avoided meat sacrificed to idols while the Gentiles didn't. Paul tells the church to abstain from eating meat during those meals.

What Paul doesn't do is tell the Gentiles to give in to the Jewish view. He never says to stop worshiping on Sunday or stop eating meat when Jewish believers are not around. He simply says that when you get together put it on the back burner. Show the love of Christ to each other.

Paul seems to understand the different views that each brings to this life. If only we could do the same today. If only we could accept that some love a more subdued worship. If only we could understand that some prefer more expression. If we could only see that when we judge either to be lacking we have made ourselves God.

I will respect my wife's idea of beauty while retaining mine. Paul tells us that this is the very reason Christ died. So that he could be Lord of all, no matter what their view.

2006-06-16T17:08:00.000-07:00

We will begin a cross country trip this Sunday afternoon. We are driving to Great Falls, Montana where my wife’s parents live. We will be out for two weeks.

A Trip to Wild Horse

Last year I took a day and drove up to Wild Horse, Canada in the providence of Alberta. It was what I would call a sojourn. A trip to a quiet place for solace. I was excited to see Wild Horse. The name sounded exciting. I could almost visualize the cool hats that a place like Wild Horse would have.

I drove up the back roads from Great Falls, Montana. I meandered up Highway 87 with this deep belief that I needed to hear something that day. I really felt like God was going to show me something, something important.

I stopped in Big Sandy, Montana. 683 hardy souls at the foot of Bear Paw Mountain (or was it a mound?). I had lunch at Q’s Cafe. I don’t think it was named after Q from the James Bond movies. I entertained the idea, then dismissed it. At least I did when I saw no gadgets decorating the interior of the restaurant. Only pictures of Big Sandy’s sports teams and an upcoming rodeo adorned the walls.

I sat down and ordered my traditional small town café meal, a bacon cheeseburger. I had my Bible so I began to read through the pages. I sat there for a time until I was approached by a tall man in a cowboy hat. He asked what I was reading and invited me to join him and his daughter for lunch. He was a talker and I was willing to listen. It was a pleasant lunch. Hearing about this man and his ministry. He shared how he came to Christ and his experiences since.

I had decided to travel through Big Sandy because my mentor in ministry had spent several years as the Church of God pastor there. We talked about my Pastor friend, his church and all that was happening in Big Sandy.

That is one thing that strikes me today about the Kingdom. I am in some nowhere town on some obscure stretch of highway, and yet the book I read is easily identified. It connects me to a man I have never met to a story I at times struggle to believe. It is in those moments that I see the power of Christ. It is in these moments you see the transforming work of Jesus. It is easy to forget just how powerful the message is.

He ended up buying my lunch, I thanked him and went on my way. I still had Wild Horse as my goal. I thought about calling it quits, maybe some of the things this man shared were all I needed to hear. I decided that I started out for Canada and I should see it through.

I had envisioned Wild Horse as a place with a Saloon, maybe a biker bar. It just sounded like that type of place. A place with a lot of character, and I love character.

I traveled on these back roads of Montana, drawing closer with every mile marker to my destination, Canada. I will never forget what I found when I did hit Wild Horse in the province of Alberta. I drove up to the border crossing and stopped for inspection. I asked the border officer for directions to Wild Horse. She laughed. This was Wild Horse she informed me.

It was a building. Well, it was one building with an out building on the Canadian side and two buildings on the U.S. side. I discovered that Wild Horse was not so much a town, more like the name of a border crossing. Now those of you who already knew this and think I am silly, OK. I grew up in Kansas a long way from any border so I never even stopped to think that the circle on the map was anything more than what a circle on a map in Kansas was, a town.

I told her I had driven from Great Falls, Montana to see the sites in Canada. She informed me that the sites wouldn’t start for another hour. She let me know that I wouldn’t see people until Medicine Hat, another great name by the way.

I was disappointed, she took pity on me. Since Wild Horse had no saloon or hats or collector shirts, she gave me a Canadian Customs stuffed bear.

Not There Yet

This is what I learned that day. I wasn't there yet. I remember when I gave my life to Christ at twenty-two. I remember dreaming of a day when I would arrive in my Christian walk. The day when I would be that mature believer I saw in others. I remember how disappointed I was when I didn’t quite measure up to who I believed I should be. I never seem to be as far along in the journey as I think I am.

What if that is the whole point? What if that has always been the point? What if Peter wasn’t really failing when he began to sink like a led balloon out at sea? What if He wasn’t failing when he denied Christ? What if he was just growing? What if he was just learning what it is all about? What if it was just the next step in Peter’s journey of faith?

What if Peter thought he had arrived? Let’s face it, he talks a lot like someone who thinks they have arrived. Look at his actions that last week of Jesus life. When Jesus wants to wash Peter’s feet Peter says, “You shall never wash my feet” (Jn 13:8). When Jesus says He must, Peter changes his tune. Now instead of no washing it is a full body cleansing (Jn. 13:9).

Peter seems at first to be attempting to show he understands. I will wash your feet, I will serve. Then he turns the other direction and seems to want to show that he is totally committed. Then Jesus informs him that he will deny he even knows Him. Peter has arrived again when he says there is no way.

After Peter’s third denial, the cock crows and Peter remembers what Jesus said. Looks like Peter’s Wild Horse moment. He thought he had arrived but he still had further to go. In the last chapter of the book of John Peter is restored. Jesus doesn’t hold his failures against him. Jesus doesn’t give up on Peter, he actually sends him further on and deeper in. Jesus tells him more will be expected, not less. Why? Peter was on a journey that will not be finished until the end.

I can not count the number of times that I have thought that I arrived. I have been to my spiritual Wild Horse more times than I would care to admit. The beauty is that Jesus is always there to push me further on and deeper in. I found myself frustrated and disappointed that day receiving my stuffed bear, but God used it to teach me truth.

Don’t be fooled into thinking that Peter arrived on Pentecost day. He still had a roof top experience and a firm rebuke from Paul to come. All because he, like you and I, are still moving, still growing, still looking for the next destination on this journey. How intriguing to realize you are never arriving, always on your way.

This year my goal is Medicine Hat, I will let you know what unfolds.

2006-06-12T13:03:00.000-07:00

Scent

The other day I was in an old bank. It was funny because it had that old bank smell I remember from my youth. You see my father is in banking and I spent time in a lot of different banks growing up. I don’t know what it is, but older banks have a certain smell. I can’t really describe it and I don’t know what causes it, but this small town bank in Oklahoma had the same smell as the banks of my youth scattered across Kansas.

On occasion I end up in the town I grew up in. I stop by the library because my childhood friend’s mother is the librarian. It too has a certain smell. When I enter I travel back to my youth and I am 10 years old with a deep crush on Michelle Mitchell. It has changed a lot since my youth, and yet it still smells the same.

Scent has such a powerful ability to connect us to places, times and people. I was holding our youngest daughter last night and I realized I was smelling her. I was holding her as we prayed before sleep and I was enjoying her aroma. Surely I’m not the only father who does this? I find comfort and peace in the experience. It brings a smile to my face and a feeling that I am home.

This brought me to thoughts about God, and I realize that he loves my scent. He loves it for the same reason that I love my own children’s, because I am His child. What a comforting thought it has brought me today. When I pray God smells me, and He likes my aroma. He drinks me in His nostrils. He finds pleasure and comfort in my scent. Just as my children know they are safe when I leave their room, dad is here and all is well, I too feel safe.

The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17

The Church and Scent

The more I think about this the more I think churches have their own aroma. Now many of the small town church buildings of my youth smelled like mildew. Those basements just had that scent. I remember just feeling wet when I went with my grandparent’s. I just wanted to get in and out as soon as possible with a limited number of breaths.

I met a man this past week who has a Christian ministry in the area. It is run by former drug addicts and convicts. It is a wonderful ministry doing many great things in the name of Jesus Christ. As we talked he mentioned that these born again believers won’t go to a certain churches because they feel dirty and unwanted when attending. They feel like they shouldn’t be there.

I started to think about our fellowship and I started to wonder about our scent. It seems that this group puts out its own smell. No one said these men and women were unwelcome and yet they got that message all the same.

What does your church body smell like? If we give out a scent as a church, what would it be? How would you describe your aroma?

It would seem that Jesus had a distinct aroma, one that drew people in, and yet is our goal as churches to smell like Jesus? I wonder if the church today couldn’t use some aroma training. I wonder if we know Jesus scent.

“For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing.” 2 Corinthians 2:15

Are we consumed with the idea of smelling like Jesus? This is something I will have to ponder.

2006-06-11T15:22:00.000-07:00

I have started reading several books that friends have recommended. One is Blue Like Jazz. It is interesting to find him mention the Wizard of Oz. Nothing new under the sun in ideas. I suppose if I would read more I would feel compelled to write less.

I am also reading The Secret Message of Jesus by Brian McLaren. Not sure what to think yet. It is my first McLaren book.

2006-06-04T15:49:00.000-07:00

Dreaming of a better tomorrow?

Remember those 50’s era films about the kitchen of tomorrow? One of them actually had a housewife feeding a recipe card into a slot which triggered the cooking of a birthday cake frosted and ready to go, candles and all. There were many other whiz bang devices that should easily be available by the year 2000. What a wonderful future we had in store. Needless to say, these items have not materialized. I don’t have an electronic butler and my refrigerator, unless you count getting crushed ice or cubed, is not that impressive of a place. It still manages to culture some scientific experiments but I hardly believe that is what they had in mind.

It is easy to make predictions isn’t it? Remember when the internet was going to replace every pet store and bicycle shop known to man? I still remember laughing at the thought of getting a twenty pound bag of Kibbles n' Bits in the mail and thinking, only the post office is going to make money off of this deal

Predictions are a dime a dozen. They are easy to make and nearly impossible to be held responsible for. Think of all the sports guys making a fortune making predictions. Any of them lose their jobs because they weren’t right?

The church is full of predictors today. Any number of people seem to have a pulse on things to come. What happens when they are wrong? I can laugh about twenty pound kibble, but what do I do when it is people’s souls?

Recently I have had to come to grip with my predictions. My rosy outlook. My vision of things to come. What happens when what you thought was going to happen doesn’t happen? Do you fold up tent and move on? Do you say, this must not be the place for me? What happens when what the church says it wants and what it is willing to do are two different things?

Those kitchens of the future were cute and funny and full of stainless steal, but no one ever said a family of four was going to actually use that kitchen in the 50’s. What ministry do I miss while I long for my stainless steal, card eating, cake producing church experience? How many real people do I drive by, all the while, pining for the day when I can be at the church of the future?

This has been bouncing around my head so loudly this month that I have to listen. I know it is not as glamorous as seeking to create the next great thing, and yet I have to wonder if it isn’t more practical and more Kingdom producing.

I can’t help but think of those other children of Israel as they traveled the wilderness some thousand years ago. I can’t help but hear them complaining in Exodus 11:4-6, and I can’t help but wonder if I’m not the same.

"The rabble with them began to crave other food, and again the Israelites started wailing and said, "If only we had meat to eat! We remember the fish we ate in at no cost—also the cucumbers, melons, leeks, onions and garlic. But now we have lost our appetite; we never see anything but this manna!"

I don’t even know what a leek is but they make it sound awfully good. That is quite the set up they are talking about there. Fish, cucumbers, melons? Throw in some top sirloin and I can’t see where you could go wrong. It seems all of those years of abuse and hardship vanish away and all they can see is some twenty-four hour all you can eat buffet, leave the plates at the table.

I know they were looking back, not looking forward, and yet I hear something in their longing that reminds me of my own. It sounds too close to my thoughts for comfort, especially when I see how disrespectful they were towards God.

I sometimes wonder if the priest and Levite were thinking of their church of the future as they walked by the wounded traveler in the parable of the Good Samaritan.

This past week I spent a couple of days at a church camp with my family. I ended up in a cabin with three young men. I only had responsibility for the kids that I brought and since I brought only my family it was pretty easy. For whatever reason these three young men choose me to be their sponsor even though they already had one.

They asked me everything and followed me everywhere. They invited me to sit with them at every opportunity. It was in this moment that I realized that I have a responsibility for today. I have a responsibility for those God brings my way today, not tomorrow. Not if I get the kind of church I want to minister at. Not if I get the kind of people who want to follow me. I have a responsibility today to do what I can in the situation I am in.

In the future things may change. I may be in that place that is really cool and just like I had envisioned. But that day is not today. I will stop trying to live in the church of tomorrow because, if truth be told, they never work out like you think they will.

I got home from camp and stopped by a family’s house whose father never comes to church. I called a member whose son has been having trouble with the law to see if we could go fishing. I began to minister with my today church. If my church of tomorrow is all that I believe it will be then that is great, but why ruin today dreaming of a church, that if God wills it, will always be there tomorrow?

2006-05-31T09:46:00.000-07:00

Praying Scripture

This is one of the ideas that came out of the book Kingdom Come by Bobby Valentine and John Mark Hicks.

I remember growing up having people make fun of people who quoted scripture in prayer. The standard response was a snicker and nudge in the whispered line, “Like God doesn’t know what he wrote,” followed by more snickers. This idea has heavily influenced my prayer life.

These past few weeks I have been praying around 9:00, 12:00, and 3:00 each day. It has been a powerful experience. I spend time in prayer followed by a time in meditation listening for God’s whisper. I then jump into the Bible and prayer scripture out loud. This morning I ended up in Jeremiah 17:7, 8.

"Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose trust is the LORD. He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit."

I have discovered that it isn’t about formula. It is just about availability. There have been times when nothing of any note has happened. I am keeping it flexable. No need to make a formula out of something I say isn't about formula. What I have found is that it isn't about gimmicks or short cuts, just time. Isn’t it funny that I understand that quality time with my children means quantity time?

It is easy for me to think that because I preach and am in the word each week that I will be healthy. What I have come to see in my own life is that I have not been drinking enough from the stream of living water.

I posted earlier that I didn’t know if I could really offer that living water and that was hindering my ministry. Isn't it powerful that God has shown me that it doesn’t take some gimmick? That it isn’t about me getting our mix of contemporary and traditional music? That it isn’t about sprinkling enough a capella songs into the mix to make certain members happy? It isn’t something to be figured out. It isn’t some right way of thinking about it (I am so totally influenced by Modernism) that will carry me through.

No gimmick, just a commitment to 9:00, 12:00, and 3:00. God takes care of the rest. I pray that I make this a new habit because the passage tells me that only through this will I grow and produce fruit.

I know how to offer living water. That may be the greatest blessing of praying scripture.

2006-05-18T20:29:00.000-07:00

Information is the answer?

Facts are what got us into this mess. Am I right or am I right? At some point, mankind decided that information was the answer, that we can know enough about enough to explain everything you ever needed to know.

Sounds good, but what happens when it doesn’t work? What happens when facts don’t make my life different or better or more importantly, more fulfilled? What happens when all the information and knowledge still doesn’t keep people from dieing of cancer? What happens when knowledge doesn’t stop another dictator from genocide? An AIDS epidemic? The more we find out as humans, the more we find out, there is more we don’t know.

What happens when information doesn’t make my life experience better? More rewarding? More alive?

In my youth the church emphasized facts. Do you know the right information? Did you have the right information when you were baptized? The problem is, it didn’t make it better.

Is it any surprise, when people see churches full of people with facts about Jesus, but little in the way of warmth, that doubt surfaces?

What happens when children, who lived in homes where mom and dad affirmed the right information while leaving them home alone, grow to be adults? Their church taught them a lot of facts but those facts didn’t help as they dealt with life. They didn’t change things when puberty arrived. Those facts didn’t help navigate their experience, and since they didn’t help, information has become suspect, especially from those viewed as authorities.

So what do you do when something like the Da Vinci Code comes up? If the facts that many were taught have been found lacking, will more information help clear the confusion?

These questions have been with us for years and have been answered but will that matter? If the information is suspect, if people have a distrust because people didn’t practice what they preached, how is adding more information going to help?

I am paid to add information, but how do I add information without seeming like I am adding information?

What excites me is the knowledge that Jesus came into a religious community in the exact same shape. The leaders had given their people plenty of information, and yet they didn’t live that information out.

Jesus says, “The teachers of the law and the Pharisees sit in Moses’ seat. So you must obey them and do everything they tell you. But do not do what they do, for they do not practice what they preach. They tie up heavy loads and put them on men’s shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to lift a finger to move them.” Matthew 23:2-4

They were sharing good information, God’s law given to Moses, and yet they were creating quite the mess. It is important to notice that Jesus never said the information is bad, he just tells them that those presenting it don’t really get it. I wish we could understand this today.

I see too many wanting to jettison the entire idea of biblical inspiration just because they grew up finding the way the information was handled wanting. You don’t have to throw out the baby with the bathwater. We don’t have to rewrite the information just because religious people didn’t allow the information into their souls. The information is not the problem. The fact that people thought information was enough is.

This brings us to the main point. What do we do in a culture where information has been used so poorly? Where people have used it as a substitute for relationship? Again, in looking at Jesus, we find the answer. In John 4:4-26, Jesus meets a woman at a well. If you know the story then you know the woman has information. In fact, she attempts to make the conversation all about information; where are we suppose to worship? It reminds me so much of the information wars that different churches wage. You must know this, you have to worship like that, the Spirit comes when you do this. All a battle of information.

Clearly this woman had not been helped by the religion of the day. She has been through five marriages. That is a lot even in today’s standards. She is on her sixth relationship living with a man. Information has not helped her.

So what did Jesus do to reach this woman? Did he give her more information? You could say yes but I would disagree. He avoids the conversation about information, where should we worship, and takes a different tact. He offers her life. He offers her a drink that will truly satisfy.

How does he do this? What strikes me when I read this story is he tells her about her life, not his own. He engages her where she lives, not where he lives. He engages her with her dysfunction and in doing so shows that the offer stands for even someone like you.

I too often want to tell my story. How about you? I too often want to tell the story of the gospel, this is how it is, and yet because of experience I am just presenting more information. Not only am I presenting more information but I am probably presenting information that has already been discounted. I too often focus on what I know and I work to engage people into a discussion so I can share my facts. The information is good but if our culture suspects information I am destine to fail.

Jesus does the opposite. He comes to hear her story and engages it fully, with no punches pulled. No excuses given and no judgments made. I want something to be understood, he is not endorsing her behavior or lending acceptance, her response shows that. What I want to be certain to show is that he goes where her story lies, not his own. I too want to learn people’s stories.

I can work with this. In a world where information isn’t enough and stories matter, I can engage in this. I must start by asking their story. Tell me about your experience. What has your life been like? In engaging that story I can find a place to offer life.

That is the final thing I want to point out. Jesus promises her life. He offers God’s Spirit. He tells her that she can drink and be quenched. All the things she has searched for from these men have left her empty but she doesn’t have to be empty anymore.

Do you believe in the indwelling Spirit? Not as a fact? Not as a gimmick used to make worship more exciting, but as something that fills you and leaves you satisfied? I personally am afraid to offer this to people because I’m not sure I really believe it. How small of me.

We have a generation that is empty. It is seeking relationships and yet keeps finding dysfunction, just like this woman at the well. Do I have the guts to engage her on her terms? Find out her story and then instead of saying life is hard, will I reach out and say I believe in living water?

I will be honest, I am still working on that last part, too much information in my head I guess. How can I offer living water if I’m not convinced I have drank deeply of it myself?

2006-05-03T08:00:00.000-07:00

My First Fist Fight

Well, I suppose calling it a fist fight might be a bit of an exaggeration. We mostly rolled around on the ground. I am certain this one never made it to ESPN Classic and It only took me a two of these “brawls” to show me I was a lover, well maybe a liker, not a fighter.

It was a right of passage in the community I lived in. It was the way you proved you were a man. Up until that point everyone questioned, and if you didn’t handle it right, the questions would only increase. I don’t know how it worked in other towns or with other boys, but in my small town the way you reached manhood was to pick a fight with someone else, let the word filter through the school, and then step off school grounds and commence to punching.

I can remember watching some epic brawls, don’t tell my parents, at different neighborhood spots. I remember seeing blood and broken hands. I watched some real big guys from the high school go after each other. My foray into boxing lore was a much smaller affair with no blood and few punches, but it had to be done.

What you did was you stocked your prey. You looked around the school and tried to find someone who you thought you could take out. Now in the seventh grade I wrestled the lowest weight class possible, so it was going to be a tough affair to find someone who I thought I could take, but a man, or soon to be man, has to do what a man has to do.

I began to stalk a few guys who I thought had potential. One was the local Church of Christ preacher’s son, but that ended up as the second and final fight of my boxing career, so we won’t go there. I narrowed my prey to two possible choices. One guy whose name I can’t even remember, and another who ended up being my quarry. His name was Mike Trujillo. Now that may not be how you spell it because I don’t remember the spelling, just the name. Funny how I can see his fact to this day, and could take you back to the spot where our battle took place.

One sad note I feel I must add before moving forward. The guy whose name I can’t remember was my first choice. I began to taunt him and belittle him. I continued to goad him hoping that we would fight. Tactically this was difficult because he was a bus kid. He lived in the country and so it limited after school availability, but I still felt I could make it happen.

Unfortunately, our adversarial dance came to an end much too soon. I got into it with him one lunch hour that fateful spring. It was in the spring that we young bucks made our move to prove our manhood. He was having a friendly wrestling match with another student. I insisted on tagging in. After tagging in I immediately escalated the match from friend to foe.

It seemed I had picked my mark accordingly. He was going to go down. It was only a matter of time before I had my victory and my entrance into manhood. Unfortunately, the teacher on watch that day had other things in mind. He charged and I flipped him over my back. All that was left was the final few blows, victory was within my grasp, and then I noticed the sea of kids parting. Mrs. McDaniels was headed our way.

It was off to the office where I spent a weeks worth of lunches. No recess but worse, no victory. Not only did I have no victory but my prey saw that I was stronger and tougher. He never again even came close to fighting me. He avoided me like the plague, keeping me from my victory and my cherished manhood.

That brings us back again to Mike Trujillo. In my mind I had to do battle with Mike. The day finally came. I had pushed enough. We found some witnesses, you had to have witnesses. Who was going to score the affair? Who was going to return to school to regal the student body with the tale of manhood won? It was after school and I had a knot in my stomach. Had I judged correctly? Was I as tough as I thought? As strong as I hoped? I was going to find out pretty soon.

To be honest the battle was pretty short. I don’t think I even really got a punch in. He ended up being stronger than I realized. He got on top of me and all I remember is going into a turtle like defensive position until he had had enough. I still remember getting up and trying to claim victory. I sounded like Bernard Hopkins after a Jermain Taylor fight. I won didn’t I? I got some good shots in you know. The court of public opinion had me as the loser. Everyone at school was talking about the fight I lost. One down and manhood still not achieved. An empty knot inside because I had yet to measure up to manhood’s call.

Has anything changed?

In many ways little has changed. Sure, the proof might be different, no one expects me to beat anyone up, but the lingering need exists. Whenever I enter a meeting of ministers the question is always the same. How big? How many members? If you attempt to define your church by spiritual impact it’s a no go. How is everything going always seems to mean, "How many people did you have last Sunday?"

When did that become the measure of success? The measure of a man? Even more importantly, a spiritual man? Just like fighting in the community of my youth. How did it develop? How did it become so much a part of the understanding of how one proved himself? I never once asked anyone in that small town if I was suppose to fight, it was just understood.

I often think of these words from the gospel of John when asked about numbers.

“From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him. You do not want to leave too, do you?" Jesus asked the Twelve. Simon Peter answered him, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We believe and know that you are the Holy One of God." John 6:66-69 NIV

I hear the passion in their voices. The commitment. The understanding that Jesus is it, period, end of story. They had such passion that Jesus was the only option. Others decided that the sayings of Jesus were just too hard. He was asking too much of them.

Don’t you think Jesus' action would have caused the leadership of his church, hear the irony of this statement, to call him in to discuss what He did wrong? "Jesus we lost over half the congregation with those remarks today, you either need to change your style or maybe look at getting back into carpentry work."

Think about the rich man who came wanting to follow Jesus in Mark 10:17-29. Can you imagine anyone who wouldn't be licking their chops at having a rich new member? I can almost see the elders doing the math as he approached. The man even says he is a good guy and Jesus never disagrees. The only problem Jesus finds is that the man puts money before God. Notice that Jesus only lists the commands that have to do with how you treat man, not God. How would people measure your success as a minister if it was you who said giving all your money away was what you must do to be a member of this church?

How about Paul? Why didn’t Paul start his correspondents with a head count? Why didn’t he start by asking numbers? Hey church in Corinth, have you outgrown your facilities? Could it be because Paul understood that, sure he planted but it was God who gave the increase? (1 Cor. 3:6) God gave the growth, not Paul.

I have often imagined Joshua, after the walls fell at Jericho, rushing to put out a book on warfare with some catchy title like, “The Marching Man’s Way to Siege” or “Trumpets and Screams for Modern War.” I can almost see the picture of endless copy cat marches. Would they have ended with the walls falling down?

Why do I still let people push me into a fist fight to prove myself? It didn’t make me a better man in the seventh grade, what makes me think it will make me a better minister twenty plus years later? I am going to stand my ground. No more fights. I am a wimpy puncher, George Forman I’m not. I will rejoice in the increase that God gives.

We had one person respond at the invitation with a need for prayer. She was worried about her cat. Praise God I was there to pray for her favorite pet’s safety. If Paul could measure success not by numbers, but by being in the will of God, it is good enough for me. I guess I will skip those boxing lessons.

2006-04-19T11:25:00.000-07:00

Opiate continued…

Ok, I have come to a few decisions on this one. First, I think a part of Christianity or Christ following is suppose to be an opiate. It is suppose to remove pain and bring some peace. Not ultimate peace but I think in the Christ life there are moments, glimpses of what peace is and should be. In worship we can go to a place where we connect with God and the experience transcends the cares and worries of this world.

This past Sunday was powerful. God moved in worship and the Spirit was truly present. A woman who has only been to our worship a few times came forward crying with the desire to reconnect with God, to begin the journey again. That happens because something is removed. Whether it is fear, pressure or some other hindrance, it is only when it is removed that people respond. It is in those moments that people see Jesus and His glory. I don’t know and I don’t need to know, but I did see the power of the cross, the Spirit of God touching her life. That doesn’t happen without relief from burdens.

Peter said “cast your burdens unto Jesus and he will carry you through.” That is pure opiate.

I am also sure that if I don’t help this young lady connect with a spiritual mentor or give her support she may easily get devoured. If I don’t have a place to equip her then I am in trouble. So yes, a part of our walk is an opiate, our feet can get pretty sour at times following Jesus, but it is not all there is. The other parts are equipping and service.

So yes a part of our Christian experience is opiate, but there is more to just that in the Christ life. Not only can I deliver the drug as a Pastor, I should, as long as I don’t create addiction to pain medication.

2006-04-11T19:52:00.000-07:00

The Wizard of Oz

I grew up in Kansas so anytime I ventured out of the sunflower state I was always told that I wasn’t in Kansas anymore. If I had a dollar for every Toto reference or heel clicking cliché I would be a millionaire.

Do you need a refresher course? (Readers note I am not talking about the Muppet version. That one I could do without.) I mean it use to come on TV every Sunday for umpteen years when I was growing up. I even own it on VHS. When’s the last time we had that out of moth balls? To be safe lets give a little background. Dorothy ends up in Oz and begins a journey to find the Wizard. She is told along the way that it is he who holds the key, not only to her return trip home, but for every answer facing the band that accompanies her along the way.

What happens to Dorothy and her merry band? They find the Wizard without question. They also find that the Wizard is a grand hoax. One who can’t help them. They end up discovering that they had what they needed all along if they would have only taken time to notice.

I wonder today how many Christians set out on quixotic adventures in search of the Wizard. In search of the one who has the answer to what their church needs. The one who can answer their desire for church growth. The one who has the answer to a better involvement program. How many in ministry are skipping down the yellow brick road believing that if they can only find the Wizard all will be well? How many churches are subjected to a rousing game of Twister as they attempt to follow their leader on this journey to the Emerald City?

Today I was sitting at a minister’s meeting and I found myself hoping for a Wizard. One of the ministers asked another about their mentoring program. Do you have one, if so how is it doing, if it is doing well how does it work? The second minister said that those that happen organically are the ones he has seen work. I want you to think about this. He said the ones that happen naturally are the ones that succeed. The conversation began because he had related his college experience in a mentoring program. I asked him about that experience. Again, he said that those leaders who really wanted it to work made it work but those who gave it little attention watched it flounder.

No sure fire fix. No program to implement, just people who want it and then it happens organically. No Wizard at the end of the yellow brick road, just a dependence on the inner desire of believers. Just like in the Wizard of Oz, he was telling us it is already there. You just have to bring it out.

I couldn’t help but think of Philip in Acts 8. Here is Philip in Samaria doing a great work watching God move powerfully among the people. What happens? An angel tells him to go to Gaza. Philip picks up form a successful ministry to go to the middle of the desert and he just goes. No one with some book to tell him this is the way to build a church. No one with the latest language to use to reach generation so and so. Just go and Philip gets up and goes. Nothing fancy about it and yet on that road he runs into the Ethiopian eunuch who just happens to be on the road and just happens to have his Bible open. Think of the work of God that Philip would have missed if he would have been intent on following the yellow brick road. Can you imagine him saying look at this great ministry I have. We should have a building fund any day. I can only imagine the parking ministry he would have needed. This is how so and so built their church so I need to follow their plan. No, he just went and look what God did.

I scratch my head at the number of books I have read that had the answer. You see all these churches, from the emergent to the purpose driven always pull out their great success stories. Church such and such copied what we did and look what happened. What they don’t tell you, is the number of churches that didn’t grow, or died, chasing after the Wizard. They don’t tell you the ones who implemented it only to see their church dwindle. Those don’t make for good stories. Why? Because the man behind the curtain didn’t have the answer. The church either had what they needed already or they didn’t, end of discussion. The ones that had it just needed help in focusing what they had, but those who didn’t have it could spend their entire lives at the Emerald City and come up empty every time.

You may be thinking how do you get it. That’s the point. I’m no Wizard. I think you preach about it and talk about it and if the people have it then it will come out, but if they don’t, then it won’t ever, no matter how many new programs or books are read and copied.

It’s funny to me when we say we want to eschew the modernistic mindset and then establish a formula to do that. We want to set new parameters. Why does anyone need to claim a new way of doing anything? Why not just say we are going to try to be. Go along the journey and see what happens. No calls to throw out anything. No demands to rework or review or reenergize anything. Let’s just be. Let’s help the widow and the orphan. The more I read the more I see that as being a consistent theme, old and new.

You see it is easy to say I am looking for the Wizard because I don’t have to work on myself. The Wizard is the quick fix. I am trying to find something new and when I find it, and can define it, then we can really get underway. The problem is, the Wizard isn’t real. Let’s assume that there is no quick fix, no diploma to say we have a brain, no medal to be pinned for courage and no clock for a heart. I think it takes time. A lot of time, but how many ministers want to take the time? Let’s just start today no matter where we are. Let’s assume God has planted us there for a purpose, one that is beyond me or you, and let’s just show love to the widow and the orphan. Strangely basic and simple and one that doesn’t require anything new, just something very old, love.

2006-03-28T12:07:00.000-08:00

Bored

People told me that it was all about the lost. We’ve got to change things because those lost souls, those unchurched, they are dieing every day without Jesus. The way we are doing things just isn’t going to reach them. I listened and I agreed. I had spent many years living in the lost world, I still have the memories, the scars, so I needed very little goading to want to get involved.

We need to change things. We need to make adjustments because it is all about the lost. So we add this and that and the other. We seek to be relevant, cutting edge, vibrant. Those lost souls they want this. If we just had new technology and new ways of doing things then those lost souls will just pour in our front door. That is what is keeping them from Jesus, a wide screen projector with words to the songs.

To write it is embarrassing. To think that this ever sounded logical to my ears. What have I discovered? If you ever want to get something changed to more closely align with your personal preferences, the best way to do it is to claim it is for the lost, those people who are dieing without Jesus.

If you are tired of the same old song for the hundredth time it sounds selfish to say I’m tired of that old song but actually sounds holy when you say a lost world of sinners will not understand that song and can’t relate to a song book.

How much change in church done in the name of the lost is just because the current crowed is bored with the same old same old? We stick our Bible verses up on the big screen so that people don’t have to bring their Bibles. We are told that is because the lost don’t know the Bible and would be intimidated but is it really because the current crop is tired of carrying a Bible they never read to the building? Is it the fact that they don’t want to open the Bible so show it to me? I’m not sure it has anything to do with the lost.

In the past several years what I have discovered blew me away. The lost, people not raised in a church their entire life, were actually very zealous to open their Bible. Tell them how to get there for sure, but please let them get there. The stories of the Bible that I was told would intimidate them instead excited them. They want to know about the book.

They want someone to read and explain the story. They didn’t want less they wanted more. So who was it who got upset when I would read a lot of scripture in my message? Not the new Christians. No it was the ones who have been in their entire life. Bored? When do we get to the end so I can get to Applebee’s.

It is no different with hymn books and old songs. The lost who may have spent a few Sundays at a relative’s church or a VBS instantly connect with the old hymns. I actually had a woman who hadn’t been to church since childhood tell me our church had way to much going on. She longed for a place where they sang from a hymn book.Doesn’t she know she is the lost we did all of this for?

Do we realize that in keeping our current members from boredom we may be missing the very people we say we did it all for?

2006-03-22T21:39:00.000-08:00

Is religion the opiate of the masses?

This is a thought that keeps swirling around my head these days. I can’t get away from it. The longer I live the more I wonder if Marx wasn’t right. Now this quote is often used by atheists to make fun of Christians but it seems Marx intended it as a challenge to people who numbed the pain of life with religion instead of dealing with the issues that came their way. For Marx the issue he saw was an economic one. Today I wonder if people don’t use religion to numb any number of pains caused in our world.

I keep wondering if he wasn’t right. When people look for a church, what do they look for? A place that will help them grow? A place to challenge their faith as it pushes them in new directions?

Maybe I am becoming a cynic because of what I see. I hear people tell me they want these things and yet when they don’t find the exact blend of songs old and new or the exact right quota of kids they move on. I hear people tell me they want to make a difference in the world. I hear people tell me that they want to grow and yet what I see people doing is tenaciously holding to their old way of doing everything in their lives.

It seems that people go to worship to use it as a drug. To feel better about themselves. What’s ironic is the churches that frown and look down at others who emphasize experience are just as guilty but in a different way. Their drug is the lack of feeling they get in a worship setting. The more brainy the better.

What they don’t realize is they are seeking the same numbing opiate. Instead of soothing themselves with emotions they soothe themselves with the same sermon on the same topic with the same scripture for the two hundredth time. They feel better but do they live better? Am I being to harsh? I can’t help but feel like something is off. It seems that church has become one big search for a numbing drug and each style is just another brand name elixir.

I don’t know. I just wonder. Maybe I thought being a Christ follower would be so much more. A new movement promised a better experience but all I have found is the same drug with new packaging. Very graphic and experiential but just the same. Now the opiate comes in the form Charlie Hall or Tomlinson. Numb me so ignore the fact that I look just like everyone else, believer or not.

I don’t think religion is supposed to be a drug that numbs our pain but the longer I live the more I wonder if, I’m just wrong. Is there hope for anything different or have I missed something and that really is what God intended?

I just don’t see Matthew leaving his business to numb the pain. I don’t hear in Zacchaeus a man who was looking to escape his everyday existence. I don’t think Paul abandoned all and started building tents as a common man so he could show up each weekend for an I’m OK your OK moment.

A couple of years ago I preached a sermon with a basic point that being a Christian meant you felt more not less. Two years later I wonder if it is true, and if it is, what could be done about it. What do you think? Help me along in this journey.

2006-03-18T08:12:00.000-08:00

Which way next?

2006-03-18T07:36:00.000-08:00

My Growing Frustration

I’ve had enough. I’ve come full circle. I’m not impressed. I’m sorry, for all the good intentions, and even needed truth, I have had enough of those who have come to save the church from itself.

I can see it no other way. I wonder why it took me so long and I am embarrassed with the way I treated others. In an effort to get others to get it I totally didn’t get it.

I have spent the past few days reading, reading a lot of different writers. They make some very interesting points, and yet why is it that I feel so looked down upon after the exercise? Have I really learned so little? I grew up in a tradition that spoke for Jesus, really that is what they did. They told Jesus that he was most concerned with whether or not a group used instruments in worship. They told Jesus that what consumed him most was the frequency of the Lord’s Supper.

I understood all of that and rejected it. The problem is it just seems like a new group is telling me what Jesus would and wouldn’t do and say. So now Jesus is fully consumed with AIDS in Africa and he doesn’t care what words one uses to express it. If you don’t understand that then you must just be a “church” person locked into old ways of thinking that are spiritless. So now someone knows Jesus wouldn’t mind the F word. Same attitude, same way of speaking for Jesus, telling us what he really thinks.

Just as I didn’t know where people got the information that Jesus was consumed with instruments I find myself asking the same question with this new wave of teachers. This new group that wants to save me from the tyranny of mindless church rote. I am reminded of the book Animal Farm by George Orwell, and I can’t help but get this sneaky suspicion that this is exactly what is taking place. Someone is making claims and they sound so good and yet in looking down the road I’m not sure I’m not just trading masters. It is easy to tell someone what will fix everything but another to make that reality come true.

I was reading a blog by a guy I really respect and he was telling of a funeral that he recently did. She was 87, and as I read the wonderful story of her life, the hardships and struggles, the joy, I couldn’t help but wonder if she new she wasn’t emergent. I wondered if it bothered her that she was modern to the core. I wondered if it ever impacted her life that she felt obligated to go every time the church doors were open. I thought about her life and its beauty and said that after a lifetime of majoring in minors nothing had changed. I had just replaced one set of minors with a new one.

If only we did it this way or that. If only people got this or that, it would all be better. I’m not buying that one anymore. Never believe it when it sounds too good to be true. Never take the easy answer. A person wants to replace one shortcut with another. Everyone’s journey is different, just because they do not experience it as I do doesn’t make mine better or more right, it just makes it mine. How sad to fall into the same trap one is leaving, but that is the story of Animal Farm isn’t it?

I have officially stopped dreaming of the day the church will get it. I have jumped off the bandwagon. I am leaving the search for greener grass to fully embrace my wonderful lawn, weeds and all. I begin my backtrack journey.