Listening

We have returned from the great state of Montana. Only one detour on our road trip back. I am sure South Dakota looks wonderful this time of year, but I can think of nothing more depressing than finding yourself looking across its border at two in the morning when your goal is Colorado. Oh how I longed to see Casper, Wyoming that night.

We did a lot of fishing during our time in Montana. A lot of fishing, not so much catching. We backpacked in to one particular spot, the Widow Coulee. Now I didn’t know what a coulee was at the time and never thought to ask my father-in-law. When we hike in, I always think of a widow’s peak, but I’m sure they are not related. Oh, a coulee is a deep canyon, but I have no idea how it became a widow.

We fished along the Missouri River. One particular day we fished from the early morning until late afternoon. At a certain point I decided to steal away from my wife and father-in-law and take some time for quiet meditation and prayer. I grabbed my CD player along with David Crowder and went looking for a peaceful place.

As I walked down the shoreline I saw a rock protruding from the middle of the river. I decided to wade out to the rock and use it as a perch to pray. Well, saying it was out in the middle is a bit of an exaggeration. The river was about two football fields wide at this point and the rock was about half way through the first field’s end zone. I did have to wade in and get wet, but the distance was only 5 yards. I know it ruins that visual you may have created of me fighting the rapids to find a place of peace but I want to be accurate.

As I stood on this rock I began to think about my journey. I began to contemplate my place and I must confess I began to ask questions. I ask a lot of questions. Questions are something I never seem to run out of. It was on that rock in the middle of the Missouri River that a very distinct thought popped into my head. A thought that I could even make out over my loud David Crowder Band. The word that kept coming to my mind, that hasn’t left since is, listen. Just listen. Stop asking so many questions and just listen. The thought exploded as the current exploded around the rock.

“Listen to what I have to say. If I wanted you to know something don’t you think I would tell you?” What a powerful thought that ran through my head. I pray a lot, but I often find myself asking questions. It was at this moment on this rock that I said I would stop. I committed to end my childish rants. It was time for me to listen. Time for me to believe that if God had something to say he was quite capable of saying it without me levering His words with an eloquent prayer or a quite place of meditation.

I have this picture of Moses in my head. He is wondering in the wilderness area around Horeb. Along every valley and upon every hill he asks the shrubs to talk to him. He implores every bush, plant and tree to give him a message from God or to show him a sign. I can see the frustration grow on Moses’ face as each bush remains silent. No fire, not even a hint of smoke.

I think of Joseph as a child. I imagine him sitting around just hoping for a dream. As if he were saying, “Give me a dream God, something that will show me what will happen when I grow up. Give me confidence that you have a plan for me.” I can see Joseph sitting around with that snazzy coat of many colors and I can hear the exasperation in his voice, “No dream last night God, I need that dream.”

But that’s not the story is it?

That isn’t how it happened. Moses didn’t head out to the hills and dales in search of a message from God. God found Moses. Joseph didn’t ask for some great purpose, he was mostly trying to stay out of trouble with his brothers.

They weren’t asking for special insight. They weren’t even asking for some special task from God. In each of these stories they are just living, making time, working and getting the job done.

God chose them. God revealed himself to them. God spoke to them. No insistence on their part. No indication that they even wanted to get so fully involved in God’s story. I want to listen. To hear. To believe that I am right where God wants me. He is that big you know.

I believe that if He wants me to know something He will let me know. He will make me fully aware if I will just listen.