First Impressions

Have you ever really tried to impress someone? I remember trying very hard to create these ultra romantic experiences when I was single. I wanted to create that “You had me at hello” moment, that event that would set fireworks off in the background Love American Style. In the end none of those relationships really worked out. Some of the young ladies got scared, this guy wants to be way too serious, while others enjoyed the experience but discovered that we really weren’t compatible.

Romance is great and all but doesn’t it create false expectations? What is really romantic about the dishes, the laundry or keeping the yard mowed? Yet each is essential to a relationship and will ultimately affect the closeness of the relationship.

My wife and I met and were friends for over a year. I remember the first time we met. We played volleyball together and I remember not being attracted at all. I remember our first kiss while she helped me pack for a move. There was nothing romantic about these experiences, nothing out of the ordinary, and yet we approach our twelve year anniversary.

Certainly our relationship has romantic moments, but overall our relationship works because of the day to day. It works because we work on it. We are close at times and far apart in others and yet we constantly work because we are committed to the relationship.

I bring this up because I wonder if we have romanticized our relationship with God. I worry that we only feel close if we have had some ultra romantic experience. A worship service is only good if I felt some powerful movement of God.

I think some of this comes from how we look at the Bible. Do we see the miraculous movement of God recorded in the text and long for the same romantic experience? That really is how we see them isn’t it? Some big out of the ordinary moment where God takes his followers breathe away?

Is that really true though? When Joseph interprets dreams given by God this was not some new breath taking way that a deity communicated with creation. Dreams were the standard way that both God and Satan spoke at that time. No one who received a dream was surprised. The issue wasn’t about a startling communication, but instead on finding someone who could interpret the message received.

Much is made about speaking in tongues today and yet John warns that each spirit should be tested. Speaking in tongues was not confined to believers and was not uncommon. I don’t say this to deny speaking in tongues or any other act of God. I just wonder if our obsession with the breathe taking doesn’t set us up for false relational expectations.

Are there moments when God moves in miraculous ways? Certainly, I only caution that they may not be as common as one might think. Does this mean we should never expect the miraculous? Of course not, I still purchase my wife flowers and I will never forget our trip to Cancun. My point is real and authentic relationships are not built on the uncommon but the common. The girls I wowed with romance are married with 2.2 kids and a dog, someone else’s 2.2 kids and dog. Relationships do not grow because of romantic moments, they grow and are sustained because we work on the relationship with a humble heart.

If you know me well you know I have had these powerful moments, but they are not what I base my relationship on. What do you think? Is the church guilty of romanticizing our relationship with God? If so how does this harm the church? If it is true what should we do about it?