Moments that Shape:
Beauty from Ashes

My dad and mom along with one of their foster children had come to visit us in Iowa. We lived in an older house and when my dad came around I usually talked him into helping me with some sort of repair. I don’t remember what we were planning on fixing that night I just remember that before we left I remembered I needed something from the basement. I thank God that I needed something from the basement that day.

As I went downstairs I almost immediately felt that something was wrong. Our basement was split into two halves. On one side we had my computer and a television. The TV had an old Sega Genesis hooked to it and you could also watch movies. There was a movie going but no one was watching it. This is what caught me off guard. My son was in the basement with my parent's foster child. A child who had been with my family for several years.

I immediately forgot what I was looking for and began to look for my son and the foster child. I went into the other side of the basement and the lights were off. I will never forget our sons face. The confusion in his eyes. The fear. I remember asking him why his shorts were not on right. I will never forget when the realization flooded over me as to what was happening.

In that moment I grabbed our son and ran. I could tell he was confused and I assured him that he had done nothing wrong. The only thing that mattered in that moment was our son. After several months, a police officer and a Christian councilor, we crossed over from victim to survivor.

To be honest I am a better parent because of that day. The naivety is gone. The hear no evil, see no evil attitude I had would have probably remained if I wasn’t so blatantly confronted with sin.

It is true when the Isaiah says God brings beauty from ashes, joy for mourning and praise instead of despair. Our son does not remember that day. We discovered through the long healing process that it wasn’t the first time. We are taught to guard our hearts but what will we do to protect those of our children? I fail at times and yet I get up, ask forgiveness, and focus on being the man God would have me to be.

Life gives no free passes. Our children need parents with discernment. Parents who are active in every aspect of their children’s lives. This past week I have been reading a book with our son entitled What’s the Big Deal: God’s Design for Sex. It is the third in a series entitled God’s Design for Sex. We began reading them with our children at the age of three.

There is a book coming out entitled Hearts and Minds: Raising Your Child with a Christian View of the World that sounds good. The author will even let you read the first chapter if you ask nicely on his blog. Our world is not a simple place. Our children can’t afford for us to stand on the sidelines because I guarantee that Satan isn’t. He infiltrated our basement, what makes you think he won’t enter yours?

In the end I became a much more intentional parent because of that day. I pray that it doesn’t take a similar experience to bring you to the same place. You may be saying my children have grown and to that I would ask, "Is it time to become an advocate for others?" I don’t share this story for sympathy, God is Jehovah-Rapha, the God who heals. I share to motivate.